We are never ever getting back together

I remember the bitter sweet taste of your lips when we kissed.
The lie you told when you said I was the only one

The forced laugh you uttered when I confronted you.

Your charming eyes drew me closer to the whirlpool of your narcissistic nature.

A confusing love portion which made me to see the saint in you. 

Drowned deeply into the darkest parts of your troubled soul. 

Normalized all your shortcoming because I was so forgiving and understanding.

Making promises that didnt materialize.

Truth be told…I am a sucker for cold hearted lover.

I was convinced that you came into my life with a bundle of hope and happiness.

I failed to notice the devil in you.

I am dealing with the injustice of your theatrical show you pulled when I was at my lowest.

Please dont come back with your excuses that you are now I changed man.

You admit your shortcomings and you are willing to do things right.

There is nothing to amend,

Thank you for bringing out the worst in me.

Thank you for changing me

Now I know the devil doesnt have horns and a tail.

The real devil is right here standing next to me.

Breathing the air that I breathe.

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Dear You

When silence comes crawling in our lives
A repressed memory is relocated within our present thoughts.
Words that never been said comes out sharply like a razor blade
An unforgettable picture becomes a constant reminder of our failure to succumb our differences.
Failue to embrace the naked truth hidden deeply in our hearts.
Build up a wall of ignorance between us
We treat each other likes strangers.
How can we let the beast to tear us apart,
Carry on with our live like nothing happened.
Left with no reason.
Allowed our lives to be dictated by changing seasons.
I cannot let things be…I can let go without a fight.
We can get through this melachony that torture us through the night.
Just give me a chance to make things right.
I just meed time to remove the beast from my sight,
One day we can dance under moonlight
Paint colourful memories through the night
Write your name amongst the stars
Make you mine.HOld you tight in my arms.
Promise you to be by your side
No matter how hard it can be…because I LOVE YOU.

A gift and a curse

Yesterday is gone with its colourful memories,
All is left for us today is the coldness of the wind
Slowly torturing us like empty WORDS that are saturated wit dreadful desires,
Leaving our hearts with nothing but emptiness
given no opportunity to mend our broken hearts.
A lonely impulse of our lost dreams.
making us restless
Darkness crawling in, suffocating and domineering
Tortured by the shadows that live under our beds
Singing a sad song, drowned within the memento of our broken hearts.
Depicting a clustered memoir that leaves our hearts in so much bitterness.
Fighting a battle we do not understand,
a battle which exist only in the heart.
Having nothing to justify our assumptions
I wish I could turn back time
Make is standstill, allow me to climb over the mountain,
reach the peak
Scream out the pain that is locked inside
release this dreadful memory of you
travel beyond possibilities
Learn to embrace my imperfection
Forgive myself
Oh rescue me, my dear love
I am drowning in my own sorrows
I am feeling hallow
I have learnt my lesson
the experience is deeply wounded with hostility.
Giving me/showing me tough love
I could sense the harsh realities that I have unravelled
Disturbing memories that lock away the mind in the prison of selfish men
I thought I was helping you but I was hurting you.
Pushing you away whne I needed you the most
Cursed by confusion, doubtful thoughts
sunking me dry…leaving me thirsty for more.

Familiar Face

I stood there motionless
Looking through open spaces,
wondering about that one unforgettable face
A face that brought up deep, wounded, painful mempries.
Dealing with the what ifs, maybes, only ifs
I realised that it was too late
I cannot not stop, pause for a moment.
I carried on reliving the past.
The chaotic, disturbing, bitter feelings are still locked in my heart.
Blamed everyone for my own mistakes,
My nind is clustered with unpleasant thoughts
Pushing me afar…alienating myself from reality.
My own numbness drugged me to sleep
Portrayed a strong character while I was slowly dying inside.
Troubled by this familiar face which suddenly lock me up in the darkness
causing me to have endless nightmares,
Remembering everything he has done
The pain he left behind
Left me broken, forced me to build a wall around myself

one of those days….

All the excitement had faded away,
Yesterday laughter had become todays pain,
everything has changed.
The load on my shoulders its too heavy to carry,
the pain is too much to bear,
Oh God help me to get by to just another day.
I am going through stuff,
The dark cloud hanging over me is sunking me dry,
Leaving me in coldness,
Everything looks darker…I am losing it.
I am my own stranger,
I feel so detached with myself
I don’t recognise my own reflection on the mirror,
I am suffocating in my own skin…
I wanna scream and let go off the heat that I feel inside
I can’t stand the burning agony that tears me apart each day
i got nothing to bargain with…
I am only breathing the air of despair.
I am left with nothing to share.
All I am left with is the darkest shadow that follows me
I can’t stand its presence.
This life had taken everything
my pride,my love,my happiness.
All I can hear is the echos of my emptiness.
Oh Lord I am lost
Every step I take feel like I am walking backwards.
I wanna cry but I do not have the strength to do it anymore
I feel numb,comfused,out of place
I feel like a living statue.

Struggling to write

Caught up within tainted images,
Reminding me about the pain of yesterday
Slowly taken back by the heartache which is ravished by smiles
Putting up a front to hide my real emotions.
Silently singing a sad song
Where did it go wrong?
Suddenly the darkness is my friend, the light is my enemy
I have made peace with the shadows that haunt me in my sleep
Found pleasure from horrific nightmares
but then again this is just a passing phase.

TEARS

Release your emotional baggage with a good cry,
Dying in silence ignite the fire burning inside
Give yourself time,shut yourself away form the world for a while,
meditate,try to make sense of what’s going on.
An echo of his voice,slowly destroying me.
making me feel numb
How do I stop him from crawling back in?
Eyes closed.suffocating,trying to caught my breathe
He is a mirror of shame,
A reminder of my short-comings
A unforgettable bastard!
He knows how do bring out the monster in me.
Replacing my anger with agony.
His sweet layered strawberry cake taste like rotten meat.
Here I am trying to reach you,
searching for a place once knew,shared,created memories.
Now I understand that love dies,
I can’t run away form the torture of the truth
Sucking me dry,until I lie
Living with the pain,a smile on my face
Close off the curtains of shame,
Tired of playing your useless games,
Things were never meant to be the same.
I am running a race to heal
One day you will be unforgettable dream
forgotten tune,meaningless drum beat
Remain in the darkness like a moon.
keep on being the world best fool.