A gift and a curse

Yesterday is gone with its colourful memories,
All is left for us today is the coldness of the wind
Slowly torturing us like empty WORDS that are saturated wit dreadful desires,
Leaving our hearts with nothing but emptiness
given no opportunity to mend our broken hearts.
A lonely impulse of our lost dreams.
making us restless
Darkness crawling in, suffocating and domineering
Tortured by the shadows that live under our beds
Singing a sad song, drowned within the memento of our broken hearts.
Depicting a clustered memoir that leaves our hearts in so much bitterness.
Fighting a battle we do not understand,
a battle which exist only in the heart.
Having nothing to justify our assumptions
I wish I could turn back time
Make is standstill, allow me to climb over the mountain,
reach the peak
Scream out the pain that is locked inside
release this dreadful memory of you
travel beyond possibilities
Learn to embrace my imperfection
Forgive myself
Oh rescue me, my dear love
I am drowning in my own sorrows
I am feeling hallow
I have learnt my lesson
the experience is deeply wounded with hostility.
Giving me/showing me tough love
I could sense the harsh realities that I have unravelled
Disturbing memories that lock away the mind in the prison of selfish men
I thought I was helping you but I was hurting you.
Pushing you away whne I needed you the most
Cursed by confusion, doubtful thoughts
sunking me dry…leaving me thirsty for more.


Mixed emotions

I am troubled by the sudden intense feeling
which makes me long to be by your side,
walk with you, honouring the beauty of the butterflies.
Surely you know how to make me lose myself
yet everyday I affirm to the world that I understand what’s happening…
I sit alone in this chaotic place
Looking at my thoughts running through my mind
like a river flowing through the ocean
seeking for a place to sleep as it always been homeless.
I search hard for what it seems hard to perceive
though the image of your face chose to be right there next to me.
I do not understand how the birds sings
yet I find myself indulging in their extraodinary melody.
Now I understand the impact you had on me,
It is not a disease but an addiction I don’t want to recover from…
Each day you write a new chapter in my heart
making me understand the true meaning of loving and being loved.
This time I want to feel your warm embrace,
hear your voice talking softly in my ears
feel your hands touching every part of my body
releasing the tension from my shoulders down to my spine.
Yesterday our cellphone conversation left me with uncertainty
which gives me a hard time to decide whether this is what I want
because everything feels like a dream
giving me doubtful thoughts of it being real
But I believe every word you said….
Fighting real emotions I have for you
would be like an actor playing a deceiving role.
although I try to deny it
you stil find a way to seduce me,
get me crawling on my knees,
Begging you to unleash the potential that lies inside me.
Someday I will forget your name
but its gonna be hard to forget the memories we’ve made.
Till we meet again.