This love continue to burn us,
leave us with scars that becomes only visible when we are away from other people.
We won’t stop until the grave summon us back to the truth.
The truth is…
I have loved you to forget my own demons and to forget the name that taught me to conceal my pain with dead things.
I have grown tired of inconvenient love.
The love which comes with terms and conditions.
Love that show up when boredom strikes,
Love associated with physical desire and greed.
Love that comes unannounced.
Love that requires rescuing from its own brokenness.
Love that embodies expectations every time one experiences a downfall.
Love that keeps on taking, taking without showing any gratitude.
I AM DONE.
I am done being a fool for mere infatuations.
I want to feel and experience genuine love.
I really want the real deal.
This half baked, medium rare or slightly salty cooked meals are no longer part of my palate.
I wont apologize for being selfish,
I won’t apologize for speaking my mind.
I won’t apologize for safeguarding my heart and peace of mind.
I am done.
I love myself too much to make myself available for mediocre love.
Wherever we go
We still find each other
Though we remain broken colour wax crayons
We still colour our darkest hours apart with our love.
The space between our strange connection.
We found our comfort through the river which overflows with heartfelt memories.
All the shared kisses and tender touch consume me
Reawaken the desire that contains me
You summoned me to reach deeper into the depth of my longings.
Your closeness brought a pleasant shiver of my body.
Begging me to lose myself…be in the moment.
You know how to ignite the fire of love that burns inside me.
When I’ve tasted your sweetness to curb my thirst and hunger,
You became my secret habit.
I clung to you like a baby on his mother’s back.
I hated you and also loved you.
Please dont leave me,
Im not sure I can survive the agony of losing you again.
We sat there in silence,
Eyes locked into each other.
Held captive by the intensity of lust found between us.
The fires that burns our clothing,leaving our bodies bare
Words clung to our mouths, remained unsaid.
Our bodies drowned into the stream of endless yearning.
Telling us to surrender to the heat that suffocate the room.
I began to question your intentions
Leaving the doors of disappointments and regrets open.
This journey we are about to take is very familiar
Tender kisses drawing us closer to the truth.
The truth that fails to restore our self-worth.
Our facade shall give us the chance to engage with our fantasies.
Leading us to taste the sweetness of lies we tell ourselves.
Experience the short-lived euphoria
We are broken souls;sinners and waiting for salvation.
Its a pity that you never intended to stay for long.
You are just another drifter,you feel much alive when you get lost.
The heart has no boundaries
It seek its own pleasure in ruins
Despise being shunned.
Bow down before deep darkest longings.
Uncertain about its own jurisdiction.
It is always kinetic,lacks the awareness of peacefulness.
Enjoy playing dangerous games.
Pounds vigorously when you hear his name.
Blind folds you with an exaggerated need for passion.
Provoke you further if you dont take its plea seriously
Carelessly representing you as a psychopath.
Pulling you closer to madness
Dragging your name through the mud.
Feeding the wolves with your flesh (dignity).
Reaching, reaching deeper to get the sense of gravity.
Manipulate the mind and body to satisfy its own delusions.
Remains ungoverned until it exposes your weakness
Found solace from wandering in the wilderness
Easily tempted, living with the curse of loneliness.
Driving your thoughts too far away
Depict you as a lunatic.
It doesnt understand the language of waiting
When it want, it want it now
I have left my doors open.
Cold wind sneaking in like a mice.
Carrying the gift of peace and distraction.
I have forgotten your warm embrace
Your charming smile.
You are just a faceless beast
Consumed with an appetite of my blood.
He carved his claws on my flesh
Awakening the deep sited desire of my fantasies.
Captivated by his luring spell
Fabricated underneath the sheet of deception.
Your pleasant scent that lingers through the room
Slowly fades away when you go back to live your other life.
Don’t beg me to conceal all the scars you have left on my skin.
There are sacred portrayals of our moments
An omen of what is meant to be….
In this particular love and war union.
I chose to love you with all your imperfections.
Behind closed doors…pleasure escalates to the peak
We indulge in cardiovascular activities.
Body sweating…heated bodies.
Commanding us to submit to the language of motion
Enslaved with deep darkest longings.
We danced to our own music
Sadly our wildest dream carries the burden of the past
Disguising the present with lies
Denying that the dark shadow of our bitter sweet secrets will haunt us in the future.
Stand accused within the strangeness of my own skin,
Inflicted with troubling thought that sought to kill the sedate feeling locked inside,
Addicted to a pill that takes away my patience,
Standing in the pathway, waiting to attack the beast with sweet love pretence,
The pill sedate my soul with hostility
I stand accused in the middle of nowhere…
Locked within the iron cage with the pain I cannot bear,
Rest easy upon the realness of my scars hidden, trapped inside my heart.
He assume that I am fine with everything
His presence makes me cold and bitter,
He is playing a dangerous game with the devil
Though he is a God fearing man
Hope that his prayers protect his soul because he failed to honour his part of the deal,
The strangeness of my own being soothe the guilt trip which burden my serenity with heartache,
Voices that echoes within the night intend to keep me restless,
He carry on with his mission…attacking when I am vulnerable
Torturing my innocence with hostility.
Hatred is his closet friend
He is brutalised with pretence
Do you realised the damage you have done
You have sucked my free spirited soul so dry
Left me in the dark,
Battered with empty words
Felt useless and distance from reality.
His abiding indifference will help him find peace in his grave of infidelities
He claims he knows what I really need
Then again he is just a reckless player in a chess game
He allows his opponent to learn his next move,
He is foolish…its absurd to think that he can ne moral
Let his shortcomings flourish and comfort him through his unknown journey.
I stand accused of the crime I didn’t commit
Gave a defence which is entrenched with the truthfulness of his dealings
Yet the fear of challenging him scares me
Someone will get hurt when I start unpacking his luggage of secrecy
His true nature will remain unknown because I chose to die with his secrets
Let him get judged by his own God…not me
When silence comes crawling in our lives
A repressed memory is relocated within our present thoughts.
Words that never been said comes out sharply like a razor blade
An unforgettable picture becomes a constant reminder of our failure to succumb our differences.
Failue to embrace the naked truth hidden deeply in our hearts.
Build up a wall of ignorance between us
We treat each other likes strangers.
How can we let the beast to tear us apart,
Carry on with our live like nothing happened.
Left with no reason.
Allowed our lives to be dictated by changing seasons.
I cannot let things be…I can let go without a fight.
We can get through this melachony that torture us through the night.
Just give me a chance to make things right.
I just meed time to remove the beast from my sight,
One day we can dance under moonlight
Paint colourful memories through the night
Write your name amongst the stars
Make you mine.HOld you tight in my arms.
Promise you to be by your side
No matter how hard it can be…because I LOVE YOU.
Yesterday is gone with its colourful memories,
All is left for us today is the coldness of the wind
Slowly torturing us like empty WORDS that are saturated wit dreadful desires,
Leaving our hearts with nothing but emptiness
given no opportunity to mend our broken hearts.
A lonely impulse of our lost dreams.
making us restless
Darkness crawling in, suffocating and domineering
Tortured by the shadows that live under our beds
Singing a sad song, drowned within the memento of our broken hearts.
Depicting a clustered memoir that leaves our hearts in so much bitterness.
Fighting a battle we do not understand,
a battle which exist only in the heart.
Having nothing to justify our assumptions
I wish I could turn back time
Make is standstill, allow me to climb over the mountain,
reach the peak
Scream out the pain that is locked inside
release this dreadful memory of you
travel beyond possibilities
Learn to embrace my imperfection
Oh rescue me, my dear love
I am drowning in my own sorrows
I am feeling hallow
I have learnt my lesson
the experience is deeply wounded with hostility.
Giving me/showing me tough love
I could sense the harsh realities that I have unravelled
Disturbing memories that lock away the mind in the prison of selfish men
I thought I was helping you but I was hurting you.
Pushing you away whne I needed you the most
Cursed by confusion, doubtful thoughts
sunking me dry…leaving me thirsty for more.