I stood there motionless
Looking through open spaces,
wondering about that one unforgettable face
A face that brought up deep, wounded, painful mempries.
Dealing with the what ifs, maybes, only ifs
I realised that it was too late
I cannot not stop, pause for a moment.
I carried on reliving the past.
The chaotic, disturbing, bitter feelings are still locked in my heart.
Blamed everyone for my own mistakes,
My nind is clustered with unpleasant thoughts
Pushing me afar…alienating myself from reality.
My own numbness drugged me to sleep
Portrayed a strong character while I was slowly dying inside.
Troubled by this familiar face which suddenly lock me up in the darkness
causing me to have endless nightmares,
Remembering everything he has done
The pain he left behind
Left me broken, forced me to build a wall around myself
Thank you for making me feel so alive,
remembering the agonizing thoughts of yesterday,
teaching me to embrace all the shortcomings that comes with life,
Everything I thought I knew about you it had faded away like a repressed thought,
You had become an unattended event of the past,
Shared a rehearsed conversation to hide our true feelings,
our superficial fronts follows us like haunted ghost
wrapped with unbearable desires
yet we shut ourselves out of the lustful cocoons
memories we have created are not forgetful dreams
Only if I can hear the liberating melody of my beating heart,
I will understand the message from that one last kiss you gave me
interwoven with good farewells,
promising all the best for the lonely journey we chose to embark…
A kiss which imprint my soul with forbidden pleasures,
slowly evoking the wickedness that lies behind those eyes of yours,
Sinful pleasures that promise to quench my thirst for love,
searching for the truth inside your lies,
tension caving in, building a wall between us.
making us known strangers
exiled by our egos,
Seeking new ways to heal the pain
Your silence overflows with profound revelations.
Now I truly understand why you were part of my past not my future,
you were an obstacle which deprived me to reach my full potential.
BUT NOW I HAVE LET YOU GO
I am more than happy
I am free….
tears are drowning a broken hearted girl,
Wishing none of this could happen
A pain of a grown up man,
makes her heart oozes,pumping the blood filled with despair,
then she remembers that there’s more to life.
Pain comes and go
she need to cherish that tomorrow is a new day.
Behind closed doors
a woman is beaten up
by a man who claims to love her much
Yet he communicate using his hands
Hoping she will understand,
a sense of happiness had been taken away from her
living with a beast that fails to be a good man.
Blaming her for his shortcomings,
taking her to a guilt trip everytime she wants to run away,
Feeling obligated that living with this man will keep him alive.
The love that brought them together had already died.
there’s no hope in living her life in disguise,
Feeding the curious/suspicious mind with lies.
One day the beast will not take away her peace
even her life is at stake.
Behind closed doors
A family dine in deceit,
eating the food filled with shame
secrets fill their drinks,
showing the world a picture of a perfect family,
away form the curious eyes…
they sleep peacefully with their bitterness,
Everyone is in battle.
Armoured with a lack of trust,
moving forward to retain victory,
while their brothers and sisters are left behind.
Luxuries shall grant them affection and compassion.
Behind closed doors
The leader of broken promises
sail beyond the ocean filled with fortune
Exchanging ideas about how to suck the blood from the weak.
Feeding their hunger of greed with poisonous ideas that increases their desires,
Unequal laws shattered their dreams,
waking from a nightmare caused by the existence of the cruel man.
A man who claims to be a good friend,
telling you what you want to hear,
using you to climb high on the ladder,
Laughing behind your back
celebrating his victory without acknowledging your helping hands,
a greedy heart never shared anything with his brother
Release your emotional baggage with a good cry,
Dying in silence ignite the fire burning inside
Give yourself time,shut yourself away form the world for a while,
meditate,try to make sense of what’s going on.
An echo of his voice,slowly destroying me.
making me feel numb
How do I stop him from crawling back in?
Eyes closed.suffocating,trying to caught my breathe
He is a mirror of shame,
A reminder of my short-comings
A unforgettable bastard!
He knows how do bring out the monster in me.
Replacing my anger with agony.
His sweet layered strawberry cake taste like rotten meat.
Here I am trying to reach you,
searching for a place once knew,shared,created memories.
Now I understand that love dies,
I can’t run away form the torture of the truth
Sucking me dry,until I lie
Living with the pain,a smile on my face
Close off the curtains of shame,
Tired of playing your useless games,
Things were never meant to be the same.
I am running a race to heal
One day you will be unforgettable dream
forgotten tune,meaningless drum beat
Remain in the darkness like a moon.
keep on being the world best fool.
You strip my soul bare
made me dance on your own tune,
I’ve lost all my fortune,
Felt impatient to let the fruit prune
We are different yet we get along very well.
You had become a part of me
Leaving my heart burning with flames of rage.
locked myself in a cage.
Remorseful to consider you being part of my skin
left a scar which will forever remain
I love you once,twice and forever.
You know how to keep me sane
make me feel like everything is the same
became an opponent of your games.
Listen to the voice that screams for help
forgetting the pain you left behind.
Sometimes I wonder why you got so much power over me,
I thought I was the one in charge
Please don’t overshadow my judgements
you might know where I’ve been
but you know nothing about my future.
Your silence is a killer,
giving me traumatic memories,
A gun pointed right through my head
sending electrified messages through my body.
leaving me feeling scared,terrified,confused
unsure about the actual message…
yet I enjoyed the intensity brought by it.
though you wish to contain me,
put me in my place,
really where do I belong.
This led me to believe that I am asking for too much.
This became a mission beyond your capacity
though the heart kept longing for more
left me begging…
since I’m down on my bended knees.
listen to the request,do something about it.
Your silence gives a heart felt melody only heard by me,
If you fail to meet my standard
you are free to live…close the door behind you.
let me be…
I just can’t deal with all your nonsense
I got business to run…
You’ve just shown me that you cannot survive in this industry,
there is a lot you need to learn…
get your facts straight.
don’t get your mind twisted.
carry on like the world revolve around her finger tips,
Whatever comes out of her mouth subliminally capture the mind,
The mind of a man with good listening skills
Her flirtatious nature is likely to get her into trouble,
making him believe what he ought to see.
her smile deprive him form reaching the peak of her thoughts.
she remains unknown,confusing the wise mind with indirect remarks.
Though she enjoys intoxicating the purest heart with fantasies,
Inside she is screaming for help…
feeling anxious to arrive home safely,
I don’t blame her…
The fire that burns inside her makes her feel complete,
yet its resemble a vicious nature difficult to understand.
she dance with the moon and stars at night,
allowing the eye to see her inner beauty,
Struggling to forget the bitter memories of her past.
seeking refuge at isolated places.
The shadow that walks with her brings her shame,
constantly reminding her that things will never be the same,
She looks like an open book,
yet some chapters remain missing
like an incomplete puzzle
Her life lacking the coexistence of love and happiness.
her non existing fantasies had left her with great bitterness.
But now she understand the hidden goodness of being submissive.
Now her fire will burn forever
living her life without limitations
STRUGGLING TO FORGIVE THE PAST AND TO MOVE ON
A brain it is the most powerful organ you can find in a human being, it works 365 days 24/7 without stopping or taking a break. It can store so many memories, events and places. I never thought I could feel this way, I have tried everything to forget about things happened in my past, tried to talk about it, to that person, that was involved in that current time, but still there is no change that has occurred. I tried to bottle up and not to try to talk about it, it made it even worse, because I always seen myself that I was never good enough to be something in life. Facing it now it’s even more stressful and challenging because my questions are never answered.
If I could have done something’s different back then, what future could I have been heading to as we speak, should I have taken the risks? Since, life it is all about taking them risks. Was I a fool of not holding to that special thing that meant a world to me by that time and age? So many questions I have asked myself already but still I can’t find the reasons and the answers to them. Life it is a total different story. They say and I quote “life it’s like an exam” so don’t compare yourself to another person because you don’t know what type of a question paper is he or she is writing. But in life it it’s the other way around, you turn to write the exam and you get the lessons after you have done the test. That is the only tricky way of learning your mistakes.
Sometimes you wish the exams or the tests that came across your life could have stayed away. Because the learning outcome of the exam that you have written has hurt you and caused so much pain that you want to give up and never try again, because you don’t see the reason why you should try or take a risk of something that will end up making you to be unhappy, sad and feeling unwanted with lot of pain in your heart. God is the one that’s giving us this exams, he never leaves you while you are struggling to get good marks out of it. God will put you through some difficulty, but one thing he doesn’t do is, to leave you to deal with it alone.
People come and go within our life. Some are the tests that we face, because you will never know that, that person came as a gift to your life or as a lesson. We have brothers and sisters that are there to try to help us whenever we come across such challenges. And we have friends on the other hand:
*SECTION A: Some friends are there just to mislead you or to make you feel small all the time(10 marks)
*SECTION B: Some friends are just your friend because do something’s for them” to them, you are just a tool” (20marks)
*SECTION C: Some friends are there because you bring change and make a difference to their life. (50 marks)
* SECTION D: And not forgetting the relationship “love life”. (20 marks)
This looks like a structure of a question paper, an English question paper and that’s how life it is. An exam
GOOD LUCK AND REMEMBER GOD IS ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N.B This inspiring text was written by a close friend of mine,It really made me think a lot so I hope you enjoy it too.
She can slowly kill you with her smile,
Tarnish your reputation without knowing
caught you with her claws like a lion seeing its prey.
You’d sworn that she is a nun…
with devious motives.
She got love in her soul,
yet the world chose to unfold her dark side,
Beware of her undying scent that lingers through the air,
making every men lose their minds
become out of control.
Allowing them to drink the milk of her sorrows.
her flashing eyes makes you see what you desire.
until you realize her sacred river
which overflows with great pain.
You would wish you’d never met her,
she will suck your moral principles
capture you in her submarine.
Allow you to feel the pain caused by another man.
subconsciously grab your attention,
play with your soul until she gets her own satisfaction,
Don’t forget to say your prayers when you see her,
She can easily take what you adored.
Leave you in disgust.
She care less about what people say,
once she made up her mind
She just react…
although she admire the love,lust,passion resembled by the tango.
She is her own boss.
Allow no man to take away her freedom
She trust no one, only herself.
She is bitter as hell
She can curse you,wear her Victorian secret collection
everyday to hide away the pain.
Walk away before you get trapped under her spell.