I wish I was a bird.

Birds cannot be caged for too long. They need to engage with the outside world for survival purposes. They have wings. Therefore, wings gives them the reason to fly. I know that some of you would argue that some birds don’t fly. It is worth noting that this piece of narration only consider the birds which can only fly. Flying is part of their DNA, they cannot deny the gift they have been given by God. Flying is their unique identity and it is part of their reality. I wish I was a bird. I just want to fly freely through the air, allow the air to fill my lungs, look at the world from above, appreciate the view from the upper glimpse and just get a different view for a change but I guess I cannot be a bird, I am only just a human being. Pulled down by the force of gravity and seeing the world around me from the below angle. Lately; no…..for so long I have been feeling like a caged bird. Locked around steel bars and seeing only what is placed in front of me. I couldn’t see what lies beyond the sun rays lighting up my room during the day, I couldn’t feel the chilly breeze of the late afternoon and I couldn’t see the face of the person who had placed me behind these bars. The only memory I have of him, is his scent which covered the room during feeding hours and the shadow which quickly faded through the walls during the night. I remained blinded for years. Until I decided to push myself, challenge myself even further by actually studying the unknown shadow which kept visiting me. I allowed change to torture me. As painful as it feels; I began to be actively involved in the activities happening around me. I absorbed everything and also questioned everything. This decision led me to discover so many things. Things which remained hidden for such a long time. The revelation began when I looked at my own reflection on the mirror and asked myself one question: IS IT WORTH IT? Time and time again I tried convincing
myself that the discovery journey will be less painful and remorseful if I push myself harder. Again, all of this could end if I get my freedom. I realised that I needed to break free from the cage I have been held in. This could only be achieved if I opened old wounds, revisit past memories and open doors that have been locked for such a long time. Therefore, I approached the shadow which haunted me for years. I kindly asked him to let me go, to give me the keys. Ohh hell yeah…. He was surprised that now I have the confidence to ask him because he believed that he owned me like some kind of private property. I wouldn’t survive without him but he was wrong. He didn’t know the real me so he tossed the keys to the floor, I unlocked myself out. Then I was free. You would assume that I was happy to finally get my freedom. Honestly I was happy until I found out that there’s a price to pay after I got my freedom.

I will tell you about it…someday.

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Inconvenient love

I have grown tired of inconvenient love.
The love which comes with terms and conditions.
Love that show up when boredom strikes,
Love associated with physical desire and greed.
Love that comes unannounced.
Love that requires rescuing from its own brokenness.
Love that embodies expectations every time one experiences a downfall.
Love that keeps on taking, taking without showing any gratitude.
I AM DONE.
I am done being a fool for mere infatuations.
I want to feel and experience genuine love.
I really want the real deal.
This half baked, medium rare or slightly salty cooked meals are no longer part of my palate.
I wont apologize for being selfish,
I won’t apologize for speaking my mind.
I won’t apologize for safeguarding my heart and peace of mind.
I am done.
I love myself too much to make myself available for mediocre love.

Yeah let that sink in… 😉

We are never ever getting back together

I remember the bitter sweet taste of your lips when we kissed.
The lie you told when you said I was the only one

The forced laugh you uttered when I confronted you.

Your charming eyes drew me closer to the whirlpool of your narcissistic nature.

A confusing love portion which made me to see the saint in you. 

Drowned deeply into the darkest parts of your troubled soul. 

Normalized all your shortcoming because I was so forgiving and understanding.

Making promises that didnt materialize.

Truth be told…I am a sucker for cold hearted lover.

I was convinced that you came into my life with a bundle of hope and happiness.

I failed to notice the devil in you.

I am dealing with the injustice of your theatrical show you pulled when I was at my lowest.

Please dont come back with your excuses that you are now I changed man.

You admit your shortcomings and you are willing to do things right.

There is nothing to amend,

Thank you for bringing out the worst in me.

Thank you for changing me

Now I know the devil doesnt have horns and a tail.

The real devil is right here standing next to me.

Breathing the air that I breathe.

A visit

We sat there in silence,
Eyes locked into each other.
Held captive by the intensity of lust found between us.
The fires that burns our clothing,leaving our bodies bare
Words clung to our mouths, remained unsaid.
Our bodies drowned into the stream of endless yearning.
Telling us to surrender to the heat that suffocate the room.
I began to question your intentions
Leaving the doors of disappointments and regrets open.
This journey we are about to take is very familiar
Tender kisses drawing us closer to the truth.
The truth that fails to restore our self-worth.
Our facade shall give us the chance to engage with our fantasies.
Leading us to taste the sweetness of lies we tell ourselves.
Experience the short-lived euphoria
We are broken souls;sinners and waiting for salvation.
Its a pity that you never intended to stay for long.
You are just another drifter,you feel much alive when you get lost.

image

I wish I was a bird.

Birds cannot be caged for too long. They need to engage with the outside world for survival purposes. They have wings. Therefore, wings gives them the reason to fly. I know that some of you would argue that some birds don’t fly. It is worth noting that this piece of narration only consider the birds which can only fly. Flying is part of their DNA, they cannot deny the gift they have been given by God. Flying is their unique identity and it is part of their reality. I wish I was a bird. I just want to fly freely through the air, allow the air to fill my lungs, look at the world from above, appreciate the view from the upper glimpse and just get a different view for a change but I guess I cannot be a bird, I am only just a human being. Pulled down by the force of gravity and seeing the world around me from the below angle. Lately; no…..for so long I have been feeling like a caged bird. Locked around steel bars and seeing only what is placed in front of me. I couldn’t see what lies beyond the sun rays lighting up my room during the day, I couldn’t feel the chilly breeze of the late afternoon and I couldn’t see the face of the person who had placed me behind these bars. The only memory I have of him, is his scent which covered the room during feeding hours and the shadow which quickly faded through the walls during the night. I remained blinded for years. Until I decided to push myself, challenge myself even further by actually studying the unknown shadow which kept visiting me. I allowed change to torture me. As painful as it feels; I began to be actively involved in the activities happening around me. I absorbed everything and also questioned everything. This decision led me to discover so many things. Things which remained hidden for such a long time. The revelation began when I looked at my own reflection on the mirror and asked myself one question: IS IT WORTH IT? Time and time again I tried convincing
myself that the discovery journey will be less painful and remorseful if I push myself harder. Again, all of this could end if I get my freedom. I realised that I needed to break free from the cage I have been held in. This could only be achieved if I opened old wounds, revisit past memories and open doors that have been locked for such a long time. Therefore, I approached the shadow which haunted me for years. I kindly asked him to let me go, to give me the keys. Ohh hell yeah…. He was surprised that now I have the confidence to ask him because he believed that he owned me like some kind of private property. I wouldn’t survive without him but he was wrong. He didn’t know the real me so he tossed the keys to the floor, I unlocked myself out. Then I was free. You would assume that I was happy to finally get my freedom. Honestly I was happy until I found out that there’s a price to pay after I got my freedom.

I will tell you about it…someday.

image

We tried to love but didn’t succeed

All the times we tried to love each other and didn’t succeed.

Cluster of thoughts.
Disconnected feelings
Mind in constant struggle
The heart keeps on forgiving.
Afraid to say what needs to be said.
Dressed the truth with ignorance
Hoping that silence will give me solace
I just cant hold my tongue for too long
My lips quiver with hidden secrets
Concealed with a sad song of my rebellious nature.
Today I woke with an appetite to taunt your ego.
changed all the locks to prevent you from doing further damage.
I cant stand your toxic greed and intrusion anymore.
Im done living behind the veil of your masquerading hypocrisy love.
The beast inside me has been unleashed.
Go ahead…you have paid all your dues
I shall carry you in my spirit.
Cherish all the memories.
Kill you with silence
Bury you with only my words
I have packed all your suitcases with love.
When you walk out that door
Always remember we tried to love but didnt succeed.

P.S. I love you
Goodbye.

Yours truly
The Whisperer

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Why dont you get it

I am a wild animal,
I dont conform to pure humanistic sanity.
Im manifested with a great killer instinct.
I will lured you to my space.
Curse your existence behind my smiling face.
Wait patiently for you to give in.
Allow the forces of attraction to take over.
Then feed my inner monster with your flesh.
I find great pleasure from your misconception about me.
I am a broken soul, I dont want you to amend my broken pieces.
Let them scatter around
The disconnections of my persona makes the game more exciting.
If you gave yourself time to reveal the underlying truth  beneath the surface
You wouldn’t fell too deep into the trap of my deceptions.
Never assume that you understand what you see.
My true reflection doesn’t require only your eye sight.
All you human senses needs to work simultaneously.
You need to dig a little deeper,don’t become a passenger in my cruise.
Become part of the experience, explore other horizons.
Do not just accept the menu catered to you.
Ask the chef to prepare your favourite cuisine.
I am a corrupted soul, I dont understand the formalities of being normally accepted.
I speak a dead language understood by a minority.
I am an invisible shadow, a mask which performs only at night.
I dont need any audience, the loneliness whispers the song of staying alert.
You were too quick to assume that you understood my multi-layered personality
My ambivalent nature, there’s no psychological intervention which can diagnose me.
I am shameless to admit that I am a poisonous wicked soul.
My unsettling words silently put a bullet through your brain.
A hyperdemic needle which subliminally get through your veins
Injecting a non deadly venom which keeps you sedated.
Making you to dance on my tune.
Unaware because you are too absorb in your ego.
Its a pity that keeps begging for more.
And I keep captivating you with a toxic affair.

#poetically_inspired_by_you
#insanity

Beautiful nightmare

Though I have tasted the swetnesss of your deception I keep coming back for more.

You are a habit I cannot resist

A drug which keeps me intoxicated with deep seductive charm,

forcing me to expose my vulnerability

I just can’t get enough.

I have let you in my life to close the emptiness and the void which I have hidden for such a long time.

Feed you with lies, toyed with your feelings and made you believe I am happy even satisfied

Fuck……I didn’t want to bruise your ego.  You were just a short-lived fun, risky, thrilling to experience and I liked every minute of it.

Your presence gave me an adrenalin run

I knew that adventure is your middle name.

Then suddenly I couldn’t deal with the catastrophic experience which burns me with mixed emotions.

You are such a beautiful nightmare that I have began to enjoy.

Please don’t wake me yet…..

Once this is over, just forget we had ever met.

Move on….we are just strangers, you do not know my name.

I am dangerous….you just deserve better.

In the middle of nowhere, somewhere

In the middle of nowhere, somewhere
Relinquish with hatred
Comforted by numbness,
Heart pumping blood of melancholy
Taken back by his ignorance
Disgusted by his pretence
Hate cannot explain the resentment I feel for him
His presence is overdressed with so much agony
I don’t know whether I could forgive him.
He had become a repressed memory I do not want to remember nor bring out through the unconscious
If I had a pistol manufactured by intelligent men who knows how to hypnotise a person into believing that there’s no purpose of living.

I am wounded by his persistence towards making me angry
Forcing me to confront the beast that lives inside me
I thought I have put it to sleep
You get the pleasure from dictating my emotions
Adorning my soul with bitterness.
Deceived to believe that I am in charge
Unfiltered thoughts of hostility torture me
Take away my inner peace.
Oh God teach us to forgive those who hurt us
They do not know what they are doing.

A gift and a curse

Yesterday is gone with its colourful memories,
All is left for us today is the coldness of the wind
Slowly torturing us like empty WORDS that are saturated wit dreadful desires,
Leaving our hearts with nothing but emptiness
given no opportunity to mend our broken hearts.
A lonely impulse of our lost dreams.
making us restless
Darkness crawling in, suffocating and domineering
Tortured by the shadows that live under our beds
Singing a sad song, drowned within the memento of our broken hearts.
Depicting a clustered memoir that leaves our hearts in so much bitterness.
Fighting a battle we do not understand,
a battle which exist only in the heart.
Having nothing to justify our assumptions
I wish I could turn back time
Make is standstill, allow me to climb over the mountain,
reach the peak
Scream out the pain that is locked inside
release this dreadful memory of you
travel beyond possibilities
Learn to embrace my imperfection
Forgive myself
Oh rescue me, my dear love
I am drowning in my own sorrows
I am feeling hallow
I have learnt my lesson
the experience is deeply wounded with hostility.
Giving me/showing me tough love
I could sense the harsh realities that I have unravelled
Disturbing memories that lock away the mind in the prison of selfish men
I thought I was helping you but I was hurting you.
Pushing you away whne I needed you the most
Cursed by confusion, doubtful thoughts
sunking me dry…leaving me thirsty for more.