I know nothing about love

The mind is never silent,
Birds are always singing,flying through the sky
Problems keep coming on my way,
But I am not complaining.
I’m just glad that the sun is shinning through my window
The house is being built with love,courage,giving me the strength to carry on.
No one knows where I am…
I am right here hiding inside the closet
fighting this demon that has been torturing me since I was a little girl.
Screaming so loudly when the world is busy doing their won things,
making so much noise
Hoping,wishing to find my inner peace.
Doubts being buried inside my mind.
Trying to figure out how could I escape from this shell I’ve put myself in.
As I listen to the music made by our beating heart,
Hands touching,exploring,breathing heavily,waiting for the right time to explode
The bomb which is hidden inside ours hearts.
Will forever remind us of our fears,flaws,mistakes,misunderstanding we had in the past.
Our alter ego trying to break us apart,
looking at the beautiful stars I see through your eyes.
You promised…
You promised that you’ll help me understand the true meaning of love,
but then…I didn’t come at the right time,I was not ready to love anyone,
I’m trapped in my past
my past forbidden me to see the light,
I have closed the door which leads to vulnerability,softness,fragility caused by a man.
I’ve learnt my lesson through tough love.
Please do not judge me baby…
I am only human.
I am searching for ME
I don’t expect you to understand me,
All I want you to do, is to accept me as I am,
When you choose to take me to be part of your life,
Always remember you are taking along my baggage,
I know nothing about true love
but I am prepared to learn
Just listen…don’t listen with your ears only
listen with your heart.

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Random conversation

Just by sayin “Hi” you open a door to new possibilities.
A smile from a stranger shape your thoughts in a different way,
Conversation lasted for few minutes gives your life a new meaning.
You don’t know this person by name
Yet you feel like you’ve known each other for years.
God is great and act in mysterious ways.
You’ve struggled to pin point that one aspect during the time of confusion,
Therefore a soul came to you,
Sharing his gift (wisdom) with you
You will forget his face, yet remember every word he said…..
Surely we walk pass angels everyday unaware,
our eyes limiting us to see the greatness that lies within this unknown soul.
Never underestimate random conversations shared with a stranger,
Sometimes you don’t need a friend to comfort or brighten your day
Someone you met at the grocery store, at the park or at school could unleash hidden treasures of life,
Everyday there’s a lesson to be learnt
A mistake to be rectified,
A laughter to be shared,
A memory to be cherised.
Juts give yourself time to listen,
Listen closely to the beautiful sound created by this unknown pianist,
He plays the music which seemed to be unknown
Today his music will sound unfamiliar
but tommorow you’ll understand the meaning behind his composed melodies.
Embrace the mysteries that comes with your human senses
The creator had a purpose of giving you such an extraodinary gift,
Be grateful, learn to cherish those little things.

Untouched surface

As I let the truth to surface,
Realized that Im setting myself free,
Changing the way I behave,stop choking me….
I want to breath the air of liberation.
You just add a dose of a lifetime celebration.
Change of season restore my sense of belonging,
Chose to unplug the root of infinite possibilities,
Confusion tied me up to prevent me from engaging in any movement.
Slowly the seed that was planted dies in a nurtured soil,
As ridiculous it may sound, haunted by a vivid image of ancient times.
played innocent like a small child
My isolated space becomes my refuge,
Tormented by the sweetness of my memories,
Suffocated myself with wasteful pretendence.
yet seeing the light through my darkest moments.
Change came knocking on my door,
thought I locked it but then came crawling slowly on the floor.
Enriched my troubled soul with so much hope,
My imperfections renew my common sense,
Who am I fooling?
My vulnerability was painted on my walls,
Immense beauty of my charm was reflected through my attitude.
I am just too different
Nobody understand me better than him….
My past became an untouched surface
Yet today I still relate to the person I was ten years ago.
God had just nurtured the seed planted in me,
during spring time I decide to blossom so care-free.

Self Actualization

I’m afraid to cross that border between my past and future,
I have buried the hatchets
Simply living my life in harmony,
I do not need the next party to justify my own happiness.
I’ve taught myself to embrace the essence of oneness,
I’m not trying to be ignorant,
I am accepting the correlation factors of my independence
No need to argue with the next person about your uniqueness
though he might find it strange.
You understand it perfectly well.
I don’t feel depressed when I fall,
I trust myself that I wiil recover, regroup and carry on,
My life evoke mixed emotions like a classical song,
Created with lots of tunes, melodies that are blended so perfectly
like my cup of coffee,
A song without words, yet easy to be understood.
Building a strong foundation of the awareness of my emotions,
Keeping me sane while I’m troubled by this world pain.
Slowly healing my internal wounds
No need to see a doctor,
Acceptance, perseverence will do its wonders
Enchant my soul with everlasting magic,
I don’t curse the sun for rising everyday
I feel disappointed on myself for not achieving those little goals
that felt meaningless at the time
yet very important at this present moment,
baby steps will eventually get me there…
reaching the peak of my self actualization process keeps on occuring without an end.

The injustice of the mirror

There she is…standing infront of a mirror,
Looking at her reflection with intense eyes,
cursing the reality under her breath,
Wondering what would it be like if a little inch of her body was reduced,
Choosing an outfit took forever,
Time is not on her side.
Her thoughts are fighting the injustice of the mirror,
She is tempted to cancelled her date,
but she doesn’t want to disappoint the heart that asked her so generously,
She is so blind to realize the beauty that lies within herself,
Slowly observing the scar under her breast,
Wishing it never been there….
It reminded her of the tragedy that occurred during her teenagehood,
She tries to sweep away this disturbing thought with a smile,
Hearing her pounding very loudly,
Taking a deep breath, allowing the scent of her perfume to unleash her cheerful mood,
From a distance she could see her mother smiling at her, telling her how beautiful she looked….
Suddenly chose the dress, arrange her accessories,
eventually she was out of her room with a positive state of mind.

Yearning for you

I wish these potent feelings I have for you were mutable,
Suddenly realize they are entrenched deeply in my heart,
As much as I try to mull them thoroughly
I tend to lose my sense of control,
Your preseence exhume what I’ve hidden for so long,
Held myself responsible for all the trouble you brought into my life.
Act modest, just to get by
watched you from the distance
Your sight enchant my soul with fulfilling thoughts.

I can’t hide these for much longer,
Everyday the impact grow stronger,
This moment I’m yearning for you,
can I trust you with my heart?
at the end of the day,you are only human.

Feel like you caught me under a spell
I wish I could turn back time
move on without knowing you in my life,
Hoping one day these yearning would die,
cannot repeat the same mistake twice,
My fragile heart desire something beyong.
How dull I was for showing him my area of weakness,’
I tried to endure the pain in silence
yet the human thought chose to be beyond,
within the depth of desiring-there’s a battle to be lost
seems hard to expunge our memories
A lot can be taken,
Yet I still put my heart on a line while you chose to be far from my sight.

Unfamiliar Place

There is a something about this place,
I struggle to put my finger on it,
It reminds me of a trip onced taken,
Filled with emotions never shaken.
A sense of peace linger through the atrmosphere,
Sat motionless,connecting with this unfamiliar place,
Undying scent of flowers captured my soul,
Recallling every memory I shared with mother nature.
Hearing the beats of the drum calling my name,
Commanding me to dance to an unfamiliar tune,
You’d sworn that I am dreaming,
But the dream is happening right through my eyes,
I am sitting alone here yet my spirit is there,
Confused by the inner forces of the picture painted with real life experiences.
This are just not usual visions,
They speak to me with a strange language that I could understand.
A road never taken create curiosity,
Using all my senses to understand the purpose of this trip,
It was taken without my free will.
Yet I honour my instincts of pushing me to reach the peak of the mountain,
It was never easy but I took it,
Now good memories are written in the book of life,
Relocating themselves in my mind,
The sense of gravity pulling me down,
Yet my spirit is longing to fly,
Flying is filled with so much liberation,
reducing the norms of limitations,
The sky is not a limit,
A limit is a nature of humankind,
Embracing evry possibilities till the end of time.

Reminder

Constantly lingers through your thoughts,
Past memories drifting through my sight,
Looking at a picture that is right infront of me,
ancient events recurring like they happened yesterday.
The image so vivid yet confusing
Keeping myself occupied,evading the truth.
I cant let myself go through that road again,
Being there would unfold umhealed wounds.
Making myself bitter,
Letting silence be his keeper,
The pain had grommed me.
revisting the past would break me,
Buries the pain very deep,allowing a new chapter of my life to shine on me.
Just let things be…going back there is not helping.
You ar causing yourself pain,
You’ve tried everything to remove the stain,
It is so sturborne, it chose to remain
yet you tend to yearn for closure.
Forgive yourself for your blindness,
Stop questioning your carelessness,
Embrace your mistakes as lesson learnt,
Though you keep on cursing the day you fel into his trap.
Using his lustful devious strategies to caught you under his spell.
The monster within him doesnt understand the true meaning of love,
Free your mind,his disease might be contagious.
I know you are feeling ridiculous
but dont let your past limit your capabilities.
Honour the experience,
Be grateful that you are LOVING,
He was too busy with other things,
He didnt recognise this important gift you are holding,
That his loss, silense filtered into the air,
Peace locating within your soul…BREATH