Struggling to forgive the past and to move on

STRUGGLING TO FORGIVE THE PAST AND TO MOVE ON
A brain it is the most powerful organ you can find in a human being, it works 365 days 24/7 without stopping or taking a break. It can store so many memories, events and places. I never thought I could feel this way, I have tried everything to forget about things happened in my past, tried to talk about it, to that person, that was involved in that current time, but still there is no change that has occurred. I tried to bottle up and not to try to talk about it, it made it even worse, because I always seen myself that I was never good enough to be something in life. Facing it now it’s even more stressful and challenging because my questions are never answered.
If I could have done something’s different back then, what future could I have been heading to as we speak, should I have taken the risks? Since, life it is all about taking them risks. Was I a fool of not holding to that special thing that meant a world to me by that time and age? So many questions I have asked myself already but still I can’t find the reasons and the answers to them. Life it is a total different story. They say and I quote “life it’s like an exam” so don’t compare yourself to another person because you don’t know what type of a question paper is he or she is writing. But in life it it’s the other way around, you turn to write the exam and you get the lessons after you have done the test. That is the only tricky way of learning your mistakes.
Sometimes you wish the exams or the tests that came across your life could have stayed away. Because the learning outcome of the exam that you have written has hurt you and caused so much pain that you want to give up and never try again, because you don’t see the reason why you should try or take a risk of something that will end up making you to be unhappy, sad and feeling unwanted with lot of pain in your heart. God is the one that’s giving us this exams, he never leaves you while you are struggling to get good marks out of it. God will put you through some difficulty, but one thing he doesn’t do is, to leave you to deal with it alone.
People come and go within our life. Some are the tests that we face, because you will never know that, that person came as a gift to your life or as a lesson. We have brothers and sisters that are there to try to help us whenever we come across such challenges. And we have friends on the other hand:
*SECTION A: Some friends are there just to mislead you or to make you feel small all the time(10 marks)
*SECTION B: Some friends are just your friend because do something’s for them” to them, you are just a tool” (20marks)
*SECTION C: Some friends are there because you bring change and make a difference to their life. (50 marks)
* SECTION D: And not forgetting the relationship “love life”. (20 marks)
This looks like a structure of a question paper, an English question paper and that’s how life it is. An exam
GOOD LUCK AND REMEMBER GOD IS ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N.B This inspiring text was written by a close friend of mine,It really made me think a lot so I hope you enjoy it too.

My heart of gold

You’ve went through so much heartache,
You’ve been used,
You’ve been cherished,
You’ve been loved
and you’ve been hated for your free spirited attitude.
Though the world had put you in so much pain,
YOu keep on loving.
You’d never stopped forgiving.
During time of despair you keep on smiling.
I have tried understanding you
but I’m not succeeding.
My heart of gold,
You never gor weary of my confusions,
Kept my troubled soul at ease,
Captured the stillness of the free flowing
stream with the heart beat to form a beautiful melody.
Reminding me of my true worth,
Never underestimated the power of your existence.
Sometimes I question your kindness,
Trouble you with this world bitterness.
Tried hiding you away from the world
Yet you reassured me that nothing will come between us.
The pain will pass by like useless wind,
memories will remind us about what and where we’ve been…
The peaceful stream wil flow so gentle to wash away the dirt on our feet.
reminding us of our imperfections,
Feeling thankful everyday to hear you beating…
Pounding to remind me that I am alive.
Today is just another day to climb through the mountains.
Feeling eager to reach it peak
The gentle breeze filling my every sense with liberation,
I shall honor the creator for giving me such an important gift of life.

This life is a battlefield

As I stood firm upon these earth,
Reassuring myself that I’ve got all the tools,
the strength to conquer this dominant war
My heart filled with so much fear,
Pain lingers in my body veins
like I’ve been stabbed a thousand times with a spear,
I opened my ears so that I could hear,
the sound made by the beast,
only my eye could shed a tear,
The atmosphere invapourated unclear.
holding past memories I could not bear,
i don’t know where I will be at tommorow.
i’m tormented by the events that took place yesterday.
They’ve left me ushaken, left with nothing to say,
I’m taking a journey to a brutal battlefield
only God knows about my survival.
Putting everything I had on the line
Taking babysteps to reach the light,
fear of death, failure filled my soul.
Mother earth had told me the untold.
Striving to carry all the burden that my strength cannot hold,
Holding just the key of hope on my hands.
The woman who had carried me on her womb, gave me a valuable lesson.
A gift I cannot trade with anything else,
She promised to protect me, not forgeting valuable lesson taught by her
I’ll defeat this beast
Fight until I gain my freedom.