New You

I chose to paint you with a different brush.

Associate you with a new identity.

a new image intensified with a new meaningful passion.

You had followed a disgraceful path.

Your eyes reflect the harsh realities of your past.

Let me guide you to a promised land,

a place of love and peace

You’ve been broken for such a long time.

You have forgotten the sweet sounds of blessings.

Small things which gives great pleasure

The cacophony which dwells inside your mind shall be evicted by pleasing thoughts.

You fail to recognize the existence of love and happiness.

You are preoccupied with depressing events.

with quietness and acceptance

The disturbing thoughts get easily swayed by the wind.

Allow pleasing thoughts to drive you forth

Be the guardian of your thoughts

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Sometimes in life we tend to ignore the truth because of its bitter taste and we forget that the truth lessen the burden of living life with depressing thoughts. Sometimes its fine to feel sad or angry. Allow yourself to go through those emotions now rather than dealing with them later when its too late.

P.s Life is a mixture of happy and sad memories.

Ghosts

Some ghosts are not easily laid to rest.

They decide to exhume without warning,

exposing their existence uninvited.

Especially when you begin to enjoy your peace.

Although you have buried them deeply underneath the rocks of concrete.

They refuse to stay there.

Then they come banging at your door

Expecting a warm welcome.

Even though you chose to leave the door locked

They find a way to come back

sneaking, peeling off the layers of the concrete

They are like terrorist with a mission to destroy.

Carrying an atomic bomb filled with hostility.

They know nothing but war.

Obedience is marked by death

Serving a higher purpose

Who is their Master?

they thirst for blood, pain and despair.

Your downfall gives them great pleasure.

Do not fell threatened

You are not entirely alone.

You are protected by the most powerful, most loving and most caring being.

The past always haunts us especially if there are feelings which you haven’t dealt with during that time. Letting go is not easy hence it takes time. Therefore, everyday I give myself time to reflect back and try to find a way to forgive myself for the things I could have done differently thus embracing the lessons which comes with it. This is a journey. Forgive yourself and be thankful you are given a second chance which is the present moment.

P.S You are beautiful and strong.

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Quote of the day No.1

How can I write your name in the sky when you broke my wing?

Im dragged down by your gravity of deceptions and hate.

You like it when Im on the ground.

Though you have taken some part of me.

You didn’t take away my heart.

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Darkest hole

In the deep darkest hole,

nothing looks clearer than the beam of moonlight.

Transcending through the cracks of my nightmare.

only thing I could hear

Is a voice

A voice so soft and soothing

Singing me a lullaby.

Giving me courage to go deeper.

My curiosity is elevated.

My patience is running thin.

I want to discover what lies beneath these hole.

I am not afraid.

I am not alone.

I could feel the protection of the shadow.

Reassuring my safety.

through the pathway of darkness

I opened my eyes wider

Listened closely to every sound of my beating heart

Is it true that the night is utterly silent?

I could smell the scent from far

It dance with the wind like smoke

The scent is familiar.

It draws me back from its time

I know its master

We met a long time ago.

Beautiful nightmare

Though I have tasted the swetnesss of your deception I keep coming back for more.

You are a habit I cannot resist

A drug which keeps me intoxicated with deep seductive charm,

forcing me to expose my vulnerability

I just can’t get enough.

I have let you in my life to close the emptiness and the void which I have hidden for such a long time.

Feed you with lies, toyed with your feelings and made you believe I am happy even satisfied

Fuck……I didn’t want to bruise your ego.  You were just a short-lived fun, risky, thrilling to experience and I liked every minute of it.

Your presence gave me an adrenalin run

I knew that adventure is your middle name.

Then suddenly I couldn’t deal with the catastrophic experience which burns me with mixed emotions.

You are such a beautiful nightmare that I have began to enjoy.

Please don’t wake me yet…..

Once this is over, just forget we had ever met.

Move on….we are just strangers, you do not know my name.

I am dangerous….you just deserve better.

I wish I knew what he meant

I wish I knew what he meant
I wish I knew what he meant when he told me he loves me
I have heard those words for thousands times
Now I do not know their underlying meaning
They carry the burden of doubts
Dining on the table of deceit
Feeling unsure what exactly is on the menu
Allow thy self to be broken into pieces
Walking through a path of understanding what you really want…
Hiding the scars of my past with my smile
Reshuffle the memories I thought we both shared
Searching for the dirt underneath the carpet
The carpet which covers the truth which we are too afraid to share
Jailed by your incredible charm which looks harmless
Yet I could sense the danger its breathes
I am a bruised angel; I cannot use my wings to fly to you
You are so far away, I can’t reach you
One moment you come all tender and after you are as cold as an iceberg
Do not assume that you understand my silence
I have dressed it with a soft fur but if you look closely it’s full of thorns
I want to go back to where it all started but I really can’t turn back the heads of time.

Inner self

We are so preoccupied with a lot of things in our lives.Have you ever wondered,how will you feel if you were being locked up in a room for five hours with only a bed,a picture frame of yourself,the mirror and a bed.I bet you were going to feel frustrated and bored.The need to do something was going to drive you insane.But why don’t you utilize that peaceful time for self-reflection or self introspection.It’s like we are so afraid of ourselves.We feel better if we are consumed with various activities.The thought of being alone,doing nothing and staring at our own reflection on the mirror is taken over by fear.We are so afraid to deeply search within ourselves our inner being because we have this assumption that the past is dead.It is not healthy to dig deeper because we are so afraid to open old wounds.I agree that we all have repressed some of our  past memories for various reasons but psychologically repression is not healthy.How can we conquer our fears if we don’t get in touch with the very first stimuli which made us to be fearful in the first place.Recently I have taken a conscious decision which is setting up a date with myself.During the date,I’m going to do nothing and I am going to walk away from being conscious of my environment and dig deeper to my inner self.I can actually hear my inner self screaming for help.I have been avoiding her for such a long time and I believe that if I listen to her more.I will find inner peace.Its not a crime to fulfill your inner self wishes but don’t be hard on yourself if you do not reach the highest level of peacefulness.Oh yes….you are going to feel all sort of emotions when you make a date with yourself.its okay if you wanna cry,scream or jump around but try doing breathing exercises and remember you are in charge of yourself.

Love

Maditjhaba