This love

This love continue to burn us,
hurt us,
leave us with scars that becomes only visible when we are away from other people.
We won’t stop until the grave summon us back to the truth.
The truth is…
I have loved you to forget my own demons and to forget the name that taught me to conceal my pain with dead things.

New You

I chose to paint you with a different brush.

Associate you with a new identity.

a new image intensified with a new meaningful passion.

You had followed a disgraceful path.

Your eyes reflect the harsh realities of your past.

Let me guide you to a promised land,

a place of love and peace

You’ve been broken for such a long time.

You have forgotten the sweet sounds of blessings.

Small things which gives great pleasure

The cacophony which dwells inside your mind shall be evicted by pleasing thoughts.

You fail to recognize the existence of love and happiness.

You are preoccupied with depressing events.

with quietness and acceptance

The disturbing thoughts get easily swayed by the wind.

Allow pleasing thoughts to drive you forth

Be the guardian of your thoughts

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Sometimes in life we tend to ignore the truth because of its bitter taste and we forget that the truth lessen the burden of living life with depressing thoughts. Sometimes its fine to feel sad or angry. Allow yourself to go through those emotions now rather than dealing with them later when its too late.

P.s Life is a mixture of happy and sad memories.

Ghosts

Some ghosts are not easily laid to rest.

They decide to exhume without warning,

exposing their existence uninvited.

Especially when you begin to enjoy your peace.

Although you have buried them deeply underneath the rocks of concrete.

They refuse to stay there.

Then they come banging at your door

Expecting a warm welcome.

Even though you chose to leave the door locked

They find a way to come back

sneaking, peeling off the layers of the concrete

They are like terrorist with a mission to destroy.

Carrying an atomic bomb filled with hostility.

They know nothing but war.

Obedience is marked by death

Serving a higher purpose

Who is their Master?

they thirst for blood, pain and despair.

Your downfall gives them great pleasure.

Do not fell threatened

You are not entirely alone.

You are protected by the most powerful, most loving and most caring being.

The past always haunts us especially if there are feelings which you haven’t dealt with during that time. Letting go is not easy hence it takes time. Therefore, everyday I give myself time to reflect back and try to find a way to forgive myself for the things I could have done differently thus embracing the lessons which comes with it. This is a journey. Forgive yourself and be thankful you are given a second chance which is the present moment.

P.S You are beautiful and strong.

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Quote of the day No.1

How can I write your name in the sky when you broke my wing?

Im dragged down by your gravity of deceptions and hate.

You like it when Im on the ground.

Though you have taken some part of me.

You didn’t take away my heart.

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Beautiful nightmare

Though I have tasted the swetnesss of your deception I keep coming back for more.

You are a habit I cannot resist

A drug which keeps me intoxicated with deep seductive charm,

forcing me to expose my vulnerability

I just can’t get enough.

I have let you in my life to close the emptiness and the void which I have hidden for such a long time.

Feed you with lies, toyed with your feelings and made you believe I am happy even satisfied

Fuck……I didn’t want to bruise your ego.  You were just a short-lived fun, risky, thrilling to experience and I liked every minute of it.

Your presence gave me an adrenalin run

I knew that adventure is your middle name.

Then suddenly I couldn’t deal with the catastrophic experience which burns me with mixed emotions.

You are such a beautiful nightmare that I have began to enjoy.

Please don’t wake me yet…..

Once this is over, just forget we had ever met.

Move on….we are just strangers, you do not know my name.

I am dangerous….you just deserve better.

I wish I knew what he meant

I wish I knew what he meant
I wish I knew what he meant when he told me he loves me
I have heard those words for thousands times
Now I do not know their underlying meaning
They carry the burden of doubts
Dining on the table of deceit
Feeling unsure what exactly is on the menu
Allow thy self to be broken into pieces
Walking through a path of understanding what you really want…
Hiding the scars of my past with my smile
Reshuffle the memories I thought we both shared
Searching for the dirt underneath the carpet
The carpet which covers the truth which we are too afraid to share
Jailed by your incredible charm which looks harmless
Yet I could sense the danger its breathes
I am a bruised angel; I cannot use my wings to fly to you
You are so far away, I can’t reach you
One moment you come all tender and after you are as cold as an iceberg
Do not assume that you understand my silence
I have dressed it with a soft fur but if you look closely it’s full of thorns
I want to go back to where it all started but I really can’t turn back the heads of time.

one of those days….

All the excitement had faded away,
Yesterday laughter had become todays pain,
everything has changed.
The load on my shoulders its too heavy to carry,
the pain is too much to bear,
Oh God help me to get by to just another day.
I am going through stuff,
The dark cloud hanging over me is sunking me dry,
Leaving me in coldness,
Everything looks darker…I am losing it.
I am my own stranger,
I feel so detached with myself
I don’t recognise my own reflection on the mirror,
I am suffocating in my own skin…
I wanna scream and let go off the heat that I feel inside
I can’t stand the burning agony that tears me apart each day
i got nothing to bargain with…
I am only breathing the air of despair.
I am left with nothing to share.
All I am left with is the darkest shadow that follows me
I can’t stand its presence.
This life had taken everything
my pride,my love,my happiness.
All I can hear is the echos of my emptiness.
Oh Lord I am lost
Every step I take feel like I am walking backwards.
I wanna cry but I do not have the strength to do it anymore
I feel numb,comfused,out of place
I feel like a living statue.

I am a mess

Doing no good when I put myself in a standard
Limitations are the source of dissatisfaction,
Putting myself in little boxes
When the world begins to exercise their comparison games,
with hate…
The heart is troubled, making the migraine unbearable,
imprison my free-spirited inner self
Showing the society what they ought to see.
Never saw a prophet whose younger like me.
painting pictures with words,
dying inside becomes a tendency.
Being late to realize that the truth shall set us free.
Experts establish an emotional connection
making the world believe they’ve got all the answers.
being pushed away,lost count of the battles I’ve fought in my lifetime.
Telling another woman’s son that I cannot live without.
In the meanwhile I’m holding the keys to the house.
He always been a guest.
Gave him everything, fulfilled his requests.
never realized,I was wasting time,
trying to please a heart of another man,
mine tormented with self hatred,confusion stood on my way.
Told him to get out while his scent chose to stay.
Feeling tempted to give him a call,
Realized he doesn’t deserve it.
Let silence be his keeper,
help him to grow, make up his mind
know what he wants.
I’m a mes like him
My troubles are keeping me restless.
NO matter how long it will take me
I shall rise above this bitterness.