You are some kind of drug.
I am on rehabilitation mode. Please dont make me relapse.
The urgency to knock on doors that are already closed
Hearing the wall clock ticking; telling you that time is the essence
Stood face to face with a shadow that haunted you since childhood
A dreadful nightmare constantly troubling you even after therapy.
Running deeper unto dreadful childhood memory
A familiar smell triggers your psyche
You just can’t stop yourself from going right back there.
Why are you so afraid?
You were not coerced to relive that nightmare,
You took a pledge and there is nothing liberating than facing your deepest fear.
Vulnerability remains to be the antidote that will save you
Challenge yourself even further
Study all those grey areas in your life.
Seek the serenity you have lost
Chaos and regrets pushes you further into the darkness.
Forgive yourself and dare to dream; to reach the core of your soul.
Somewhere between the past and the present.
Rests memories of broken promises, deceit and disappointments.
Deep darkest secrets and events that occured behind closed doors.
Laughter which echoes with melancholy rumbles.
Watchful eyes looking for hidden agendas.
Waiting for the prophecy of back stabbing to unfold.
Most definitely we are animals.
We are confronted with insecurities of our making.
The discomfort to witness the stimuli keeps the beast on the leash.
Truth be told.
The mutual interest built with nothing but hostility.
Suffocating the rationality of breaking all the ties.
Crashing down the intended deal.
Leaving behind a sweet taste of vengeance.
Karma arrived early.
I should probably thank you for being the wild one.
However you were nothing but a dream.
I am wide awake….your time has ended.
You only exist through the darkness
Thus you cannot be recognised explicitly
You will remain obscure like a graffiti painting on the wall.
P.S. Thank you.
The burning desire to write forever torment your soul.
Dragged you through the ground until you admit that you are infected.
Infected with a disease which torture your silence.
Commanding thy self to stain all the blank pages with ink.
You are tired to think….tired to write
slowly rehabilitating thy self with destructions.
Refusing to the listen to the request made by the master.
Pushing afar the burning desire which forever makes you dillussional.
Leaving your soul in great hunger.
Writing is your contentment,
Dont forget the hand that feeds you.
Repressed memories banging violently unto the door of your thoughts.
Forcing you to remember the forgotten memories,
Reawakening all your human senses.
Allowing you to revive the actual ecstasy of writing,
the adrenaline rush which ooze through your blood veins.
Leading you to all sort of places.
Perfection was a taboo….seeing the imagery was very fulfilling.
You have lost the joy of peacefulness
Your thoughts are in constant turmoil.
Tell those murmuring voices inside your head to quieten down.
Making demands in order to be heard.
Keeping you restless and leaving you confused.
Taking charge, pushing, resisting until you surrender.
I AM EXPERIENCING WRITERS BLOCK….. #sad #confused #thoughts_warfare #darkest_place
When silence comes crawling in our lives
A repressed memory is relocated within our present thoughts.
Words that never been said comes out sharply like a razor blade
An unforgettable picture becomes a constant reminder of our failure to succumb our differences.
Failue to embrace the naked truth hidden deeply in our hearts.
Build up a wall of ignorance between us
We treat each other likes strangers.
How can we let the beast to tear us apart,
Carry on with our live like nothing happened.
Left with no reason.
Allowed our lives to be dictated by changing seasons.
I cannot let things be…I can let go without a fight.
We can get through this melachony that torture us through the night.
Just give me a chance to make things right.
I just meed time to remove the beast from my sight,
One day we can dance under moonlight
Paint colourful memories through the night
Write your name amongst the stars
Make you mine.HOld you tight in my arms.
Promise you to be by your side
No matter how hard it can be…because I LOVE YOU.
Yesterday is gone with its colourful memories,
All is left for us today is the coldness of the wind
Slowly torturing us like empty WORDS that are saturated wit dreadful desires,
Leaving our hearts with nothing but emptiness
given no opportunity to mend our broken hearts.
A lonely impulse of our lost dreams.
making us restless
Darkness crawling in, suffocating and domineering
Tortured by the shadows that live under our beds
Singing a sad song, drowned within the memento of our broken hearts.
Depicting a clustered memoir that leaves our hearts in so much bitterness.
Fighting a battle we do not understand,
a battle which exist only in the heart.
Having nothing to justify our assumptions
I wish I could turn back time
Make is standstill, allow me to climb over the mountain,
reach the peak
Scream out the pain that is locked inside
release this dreadful memory of you
travel beyond possibilities
Learn to embrace my imperfection
Oh rescue me, my dear love
I am drowning in my own sorrows
I am feeling hallow
I have learnt my lesson
the experience is deeply wounded with hostility.
Giving me/showing me tough love
I could sense the harsh realities that I have unravelled
Disturbing memories that lock away the mind in the prison of selfish men
I thought I was helping you but I was hurting you.
Pushing you away whne I needed you the most
Cursed by confusion, doubtful thoughts
sunking me dry…leaving me thirsty for more.
I stood there motionless
Looking through open spaces,
wondering about that one unforgettable face
A face that brought up deep, wounded, painful mempries.
Dealing with the what ifs, maybes, only ifs
I realised that it was too late
I cannot not stop, pause for a moment.
I carried on reliving the past.
The chaotic, disturbing, bitter feelings are still locked in my heart.
Blamed everyone for my own mistakes,
My nind is clustered with unpleasant thoughts
Pushing me afar…alienating myself from reality.
My own numbness drugged me to sleep
Portrayed a strong character while I was slowly dying inside.
Troubled by this familiar face which suddenly lock me up in the darkness
causing me to have endless nightmares,
Remembering everything he has done
The pain he left behind
Left me broken, forced me to build a wall around myself
All the excitement had faded away,
Yesterday laughter had become todays pain,
everything has changed.
The load on my shoulders its too heavy to carry,
the pain is too much to bear,
Oh God help me to get by to just another day.
I am going through stuff,
The dark cloud hanging over me is sunking me dry,
Leaving me in coldness,
Everything looks darker…I am losing it.
I am my own stranger,
I feel so detached with myself
I don’t recognise my own reflection on the mirror,
I am suffocating in my own skin…
I wanna scream and let go off the heat that I feel inside
I can’t stand the burning agony that tears me apart each day
i got nothing to bargain with…
I am only breathing the air of despair.
I am left with nothing to share.
All I am left with is the darkest shadow that follows me
I can’t stand its presence.
This life had taken everything
my pride,my love,my happiness.
All I can hear is the echos of my emptiness.
Oh Lord I am lost
Every step I take feel like I am walking backwards.
I wanna cry but I do not have the strength to do it anymore
I feel numb,comfused,out of place
I feel like a living statue.
Thank you for making me feel so alive,
remembering the agonizing thoughts of yesterday,
teaching me to embrace all the shortcomings that comes with life,
Everything I thought I knew about you it had faded away like a repressed thought,
You had become an unattended event of the past,
Shared a rehearsed conversation to hide our true feelings,
our superficial fronts follows us like haunted ghost
wrapped with unbearable desires
yet we shut ourselves out of the lustful cocoons
memories we have created are not forgetful dreams
Only if I can hear the liberating melody of my beating heart,
I will understand the message from that one last kiss you gave me
interwoven with good farewells,
promising all the best for the lonely journey we chose to embark…
A kiss which imprint my soul with forbidden pleasures,
slowly evoking the wickedness that lies behind those eyes of yours,
Sinful pleasures that promise to quench my thirst for love,
searching for the truth inside your lies,
tension caving in, building a wall between us.
making us known strangers
exiled by our egos,
Seeking new ways to heal the pain
Your silence overflows with profound revelations.
Now I truly understand why you were part of my past not my future,
you were an obstacle which deprived me to reach my full potential.
BUT NOW I HAVE LET YOU GO
I am more than happy
I am free….
Time has pass, stars has fallen
The beautiful images of the sunset
Indoctrinated with the nature of the shattered dreams,
Lingering thoughts which stir the soul with great bitterness,
Deeply rooted with doubts,confusion,unpleasant thoughts which pushes humanity afar,
Accused of commiting a crime by just being different
Beginning to question their intelligence
Perceive their own brothers as enemies
Losing the essence of their deeply rooted culture
The sacredness of their culture being put on scale
Rated the lowest, classified as inferior
Who invited the beast to the feast?
He lacks the original cultural beliefs
His presence is surrounded by so much darkness
Tainted our purest minds with useless assumptions
Look where it got us…nowhere
Silence our kindness with foreign objects
Considered to nake our lives easier
Taking everything we owned
Yet he forgets that the scars will forever remain in our hearts and soul
Forever reminding us about our greatness
A remembrance which is engraved within our historical moments.
Our own stories.African stories
Let us sing the soung of peace
Forgive the wanderer(stranger) who sufferes fron a low self-esteem.
constantly seeking new ways to feed his appetite of being superior
Haunted by his own demons
Searching for a place to belong
Disturbed by unjustified beliefs
Do not laugh or mock another man foolishness
Kindly show him the right way as he was lost in the jungle surrounded by will animals.
Only his purest mind will save him.
His loss is not to be celebrated but to be used a learning experience
thus his courage deserve all the credit.