We are never ever getting back together

I remember the bitter sweet taste of your lips when we kissed.
The lie you told when you said I was the only one

The forced laugh you uttered when I confronted you.

Your charming eyes drew me closer to the whirlpool of your narcissistic nature.

A confusing love portion which made me to see the saint in you. 

Drowned deeply into the darkest parts of your troubled soul. 

Normalized all your shortcoming because I was so forgiving and understanding.

Making promises that didnt materialize.

Truth be told…I am a sucker for cold hearted lover.

I was convinced that you came into my life with a bundle of hope and happiness.

I failed to notice the devil in you.

I am dealing with the injustice of your theatrical show you pulled when I was at my lowest.

Please dont come back with your excuses that you are now I changed man.

You admit your shortcomings and you are willing to do things right.

There is nothing to amend,

Thank you for bringing out the worst in me.

Thank you for changing me

Now I know the devil doesnt have horns and a tail.

The real devil is right here standing next to me.

Breathing the air that I breathe.

Dare to dream

The urgency to knock on doors that are already closed
Hearing the wall clock ticking; telling you that time is the essence
Stood face to face with a shadow that haunted you since childhood
A dreadful nightmare constantly troubling you even after therapy.
Running deeper unto dreadful childhood memory
A familiar smell triggers your psyche
You just can’t stop yourself from going right back there.
Why are you so afraid?
You were not coerced to relive that nightmare,
You took a pledge and there is nothing liberating than facing your deepest fear.
Vulnerability remains to be the antidote that will save you
Challenge yourself even further
Study all those grey areas in your life.
Seek the serenity you have lost
Chaos and regrets pushes you further into the darkness.
Forgive yourself and dare to dream; to reach the core of your soul.

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This game of emotions we play

Save yourself from this mindless adventure
The chills and thrills only last for awhile
We remain blinded by superficial love
Lust that lead us into disastrous action
Leaving us wounded with regrets
Nothing taste so bitter like the lies we tell ourselves.
Sharing nothing but empty promises
Cold kisses and strokes leaving our bodies numb
We chose to walk through the path that led us to the tombs
Failed to understand, ignored the signs, living in ruins.
We lost the time to discover the sacredness of our company
Chose to engage in continual destructive activities
Foolishly falling into the trap of senseless gratification.
Fed our wild egocentric nature with circumstantial infatuation.
Tell him nothing but the truth
He was just another victim of your cruel games of emotion
Bitter black woman on a mission

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2016/04/08

The heart has no boundaries
It seek its own pleasure in ruins
Despise being shunned.
Bow down before deep darkest longings.
Uncertain about its own jurisdiction.
It is always kinetic,lacks the awareness of peacefulness.
Enjoy playing dangerous games.
Pounds vigorously when you hear his name.
Blind folds you with an exaggerated need for passion.
Provoke you further if you dont take its plea seriously
Carelessly representing you as a psychopath.
Pulling you closer to madness
Dragging your name through the mud.
Feeding the wolves with your flesh (dignity).
Reaching, reaching deeper to get the sense of gravity.
Manipulate the mind and body to satisfy its own delusions.
Remains ungoverned until it exposes your weakness
Found solace from wandering in the wilderness
Easily tempted, living with the curse of loneliness.
Driving your thoughts too far away
Depict you as a lunatic.
It doesnt understand the language of waiting
When it want, it want it now
Immediate gratification.

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01/03/2016

Just stay there
You are a memory to be forgotten.
A forlorn depiction hanging on a wall.
stood still with so much life
Dead through the eyes of the ignorant
Burning vigorously with an invisible passion.
Hiding the lonesome celebration of our hearts.
Supressing any stimulus which might led us to remember.
All the pleasant moments we shared.
Dont you dare say another word?
The sound of your voice carries a dark spell.
It is a destruction
It is my weakness
Will you trade your everyday occupation for being a mute actor?
Let my eyes do the admiring
Let my hands do the inspection
You are such a beautiful artistic being I would like to study
Fascinating indeed.
Let me first speak to your creator.
Then I will learn how to deal with you.

Note to self

What you have become is not learnt from any books. It is that sacred,distinct lesson learnt from all the scars,heartache and bitter sweet memories of your life.

Cherish it

We tried to love but didn’t succeed

All the times we tried to love each other and didn’t succeed.

Cluster of thoughts.
Disconnected feelings
Mind in constant struggle
The heart keeps on forgiving.
Afraid to say what needs to be said.
Dressed the truth with ignorance
Hoping that silence will give me solace
I just cant hold my tongue for too long
My lips quiver with hidden secrets
Concealed with a sad song of my rebellious nature.
Today I woke with an appetite to taunt your ego.
changed all the locks to prevent you from doing further damage.
I cant stand your toxic greed and intrusion anymore.
Im done living behind the veil of your masquerading hypocrisy love.
The beast inside me has been unleashed.
Go ahead…you have paid all your dues
I shall carry you in my spirit.
Cherish all the memories.
Kill you with silence
Bury you with only my words
I have packed all your suitcases with love.
When you walk out that door
Always remember we tried to love but didnt succeed.

P.S. I love you
Goodbye.

Yours truly
The Whisperer

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The irony of our love

We are singing the same song but with different tunes.
You are right here with me but your mind seems so far away.
How do we move forward when the picture stands still
Incarcerated by words left unsaid
Hidden behind the veil of our superficial love
Are you prepared to break all the walls?
Open up the casket of my wrong deeds
Damn…you!!! You are not perfect nor a saint
The irony of our relation haunts me
Smeared around with color and pattern like graffiti on the wall
Oblique….codified
Theres no formula nor equation that can solve the problems we are facing
All I need from you is to rescue me
Im drowning deeper and deeper into the drench of confusion
Im being swayed to and fro like the waves in the sea
The rocking chair will not put me to sleep
The uncertainty of the love we share comes crashing through the cracks of these walls around me.
Safeguarding the unknown with meaningless inclinations.
What are we really fighting for?
We are restless like the shore
Seeking peace and comfort in crowded spaces
Failed on the first attempt but Im not giving up
The battlefield is taking all my strength.
Exposing my vulnerability to the master of the truth.
Tired of searching for treasures that are not rightfully mine.
Im grateful for every little thing I have in my life.
I have freed myself from the prison of possessiveness.
Greed is a senseless conviction of ungratefulness
Takes away the real essence of happiness.
Consumed by insecurities.
Do not ask me to go back where it all began
Recollecting those memories we once shared
Leaving behind bitter sweet feelings of our lonely hearts.
Only the truth can save us
It start with I….and it shall end with US only if you are ready.

I struggled a lot to finish writing this poem. There’s lot going on in my life. I wish I could express the exact feelings but the fear of opening up those old wounds makes me anxious. I guess this a price you pay if you are a broken writer who seek comfort in chaotic spaces.

Yours truly
The Whisperer

An Omen

I have left my doors open.
Cold wind sneaking in like a mice.
Carrying the gift of peace and distraction.
I have forgotten your warm embrace
Your charming smile.
You are just a faceless beast
Consumed with an appetite of my blood.
He carved his claws on my flesh
Awakening the deep sited desire of my fantasies.
Captivated by his luring spell
Fabricated underneath the sheet of deception.
Your pleasant scent that lingers through the room
Slowly fades away when you go back to live your other life.
Don’t beg me to conceal all the scars you have left on my skin.
There are sacred portrayals of our moments
An omen of what is meant to be….
In this particular love and war union.
I chose to love you with all your imperfections.
Behind closed doors…pleasure escalates to the peak
We indulge in  cardiovascular activities.
Body sweating…heated bodies.
Commanding us to submit to the language of motion
Enslaved with deep darkest longings.
We danced to our own music
Sadly our wildest dream carries the burden of the past
Disguising the present with lies
Denying that the dark shadow of our bitter sweet secrets will haunt us in the future.

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