Inconvenient love

I have grown tired of inconvenient love.
The love which comes with terms and conditions.
Love that show up when boredom strikes,
Love associated with physical desire and greed.
Love that comes unannounced.
Love that requires rescuing from its own brokenness.
Love that embodies expectations every time one experiences a downfall.
Love that keeps on taking, taking without showing any gratitude.
I AM DONE.
I am done being a fool for mere infatuations.
I want to feel and experience genuine love.
I really want the real deal.
This half baked, medium rare or slightly salty cooked meals are no longer part of my palate.
I wont apologize for being selfish,
I won’t apologize for speaking my mind.
I won’t apologize for safeguarding my heart and peace of mind.
I am done.
I love myself too much to make myself available for mediocre love.

Yeah let that sink in… 😉

We are never ever getting back together

I remember the bitter sweet taste of your lips when we kissed.
The lie you told when you said I was the only one

The forced laugh you uttered when I confronted you.

Your charming eyes drew me closer to the whirlpool of your narcissistic nature.

A confusing love portion which made me to see the saint in you. 

Drowned deeply into the darkest parts of your troubled soul. 

Normalized all your shortcoming because I was so forgiving and understanding.

Making promises that didnt materialize.

Truth be told…I am a sucker for cold hearted lover.

I was convinced that you came into my life with a bundle of hope and happiness.

I failed to notice the devil in you.

I am dealing with the injustice of your theatrical show you pulled when I was at my lowest.

Please dont come back with your excuses that you are now I changed man.

You admit your shortcomings and you are willing to do things right.

There is nothing to amend,

Thank you for bringing out the worst in me.

Thank you for changing me

Now I know the devil doesnt have horns and a tail.

The real devil is right here standing next to me.

Breathing the air that I breathe.

Dare to dream

The urgency to knock on doors that are already closed
Hearing the wall clock ticking; telling you that time is the essence
Stood face to face with a shadow that haunted you since childhood
A dreadful nightmare constantly troubling you even after therapy.
Running deeper unto dreadful childhood memory
A familiar smell triggers your psyche
You just can’t stop yourself from going right back there.
Why are you so afraid?
You were not coerced to relive that nightmare,
You took a pledge and there is nothing liberating than facing your deepest fear.
Vulnerability remains to be the antidote that will save you
Challenge yourself even further
Study all those grey areas in your life.
Seek the serenity you have lost
Chaos and regrets pushes you further into the darkness.
Forgive yourself and dare to dream; to reach the core of your soul.

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This game of emotions we play

Save yourself from this mindless adventure
The chills and thrills only last for awhile
We remain blinded by superficial love
Lust that lead us into disastrous action
Leaving us wounded with regrets
Nothing taste so bitter like the lies we tell ourselves.
Sharing nothing but empty promises
Cold kisses and strokes leaving our bodies numb
We chose to walk through the path that led us to the tombs
Failed to understand, ignored the signs, living in ruins.
We lost the time to discover the sacredness of our company
Chose to engage in continual destructive activities
Foolishly falling into the trap of senseless gratification.
Fed our wild egocentric nature with circumstantial infatuation.
Tell him nothing but the truth
He was just another victim of your cruel games of emotion
Bitter black woman on a mission

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04/06/2016

Denied feelings
Mind thinking
Intense longing
Confusion consuming
Hope descending 
Distance loving
Secretly wishing

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His intimidating
Eyes looking
Pride ruling
Ego overflowing
Patiently waiting
Someday we’ll start talking
Hope that we will be listening

The love battle

Please don’t get close to me
The proximity between our bodies
Makes me uncomfortable
Your presence beautifully suffocates me
My body longs for your touch
Your tender hands electrifies my deep sited desires.
Your arms took me in; a remedy of my solitude
Patiently you waited,
Amazingly you listened and understood
Unexpectedly you took charge;
Pity I was fighting you every step of the way.
Sadly I left you wondering; ego wounded
Dangerously I fell deeper into your spell
Secretly I want you
Stubbornly I refuse to listen to the heart-soothing melody of your pounding heart,
Pleading me to give in… lose myself within your tenderness
Softly you spoke….your words reassuring.
Willingly you acted, I reacted
Then shyly my troubled soul drowned in your sweetness
Warm bodies
Relentless desires burning us vigorously
Delivering us from the thirst and hunger of our broken souls.
Wakening the urge to curb our reckless behaviour.
Someday we going to find each other
The battle of the heart and mind will be conquered.

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Note to self

What you have become is not learnt from any books. It is that sacred,distinct lesson learnt from all the scars,heartache and bitter sweet memories of your life.

Cherish it

We tried to love but didn’t succeed

All the times we tried to love each other and didn’t succeed.

Cluster of thoughts.
Disconnected feelings
Mind in constant struggle
The heart keeps on forgiving.
Afraid to say what needs to be said.
Dressed the truth with ignorance
Hoping that silence will give me solace
I just cant hold my tongue for too long
My lips quiver with hidden secrets
Concealed with a sad song of my rebellious nature.
Today I woke with an appetite to taunt your ego.
changed all the locks to prevent you from doing further damage.
I cant stand your toxic greed and intrusion anymore.
Im done living behind the veil of your masquerading hypocrisy love.
The beast inside me has been unleashed.
Go ahead…you have paid all your dues
I shall carry you in my spirit.
Cherish all the memories.
Kill you with silence
Bury you with only my words
I have packed all your suitcases with love.
When you walk out that door
Always remember we tried to love but didnt succeed.

P.S. I love you
Goodbye.

Yours truly
The Whisperer

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The irony of our love

We are singing the same song but with different tunes.
You are right here with me but your mind seems so far away.
How do we move forward when the picture stands still
Incarcerated by words left unsaid
Hidden behind the veil of our superficial love
Are you prepared to break all the walls?
Open up the casket of my wrong deeds
Damn…you!!! You are not perfect nor a saint
The irony of our relation haunts me
Smeared around with color and pattern like graffiti on the wall
Oblique….codified
Theres no formula nor equation that can solve the problems we are facing
All I need from you is to rescue me
Im drowning deeper and deeper into the drench of confusion
Im being swayed to and fro like the waves in the sea
The rocking chair will not put me to sleep
The uncertainty of the love we share comes crashing through the cracks of these walls around me.
Safeguarding the unknown with meaningless inclinations.
What are we really fighting for?
We are restless like the shore
Seeking peace and comfort in crowded spaces
Failed on the first attempt but Im not giving up
The battlefield is taking all my strength.
Exposing my vulnerability to the master of the truth.
Tired of searching for treasures that are not rightfully mine.
Im grateful for every little thing I have in my life.
I have freed myself from the prison of possessiveness.
Greed is a senseless conviction of ungratefulness
Takes away the real essence of happiness.
Consumed by insecurities.
Do not ask me to go back where it all began
Recollecting those memories we once shared
Leaving behind bitter sweet feelings of our lonely hearts.
Only the truth can save us
It start with I….and it shall end with US only if you are ready.

I struggled a lot to finish writing this poem. There’s lot going on in my life. I wish I could express the exact feelings but the fear of opening up those old wounds makes me anxious. I guess this a price you pay if you are a broken writer who seek comfort in chaotic spaces.

Yours truly
The Whisperer