Note to self

What you have become is not learnt from any books. It is that sacred,distinct lesson learnt from all the scars,heartache and bitter sweet memories of your life.

Cherish it

The irony of our love

We are singing the same song but with different tunes.
You are right here with me but your mind seems so far away.
How do we move forward when the picture stands still
Incarcerated by words left unsaid
Hidden behind the veil of our superficial love
Are you prepared to break all the walls?
Open up the casket of my wrong deeds
Damn…you!!! You are not perfect nor a saint
The irony of our relation haunts me
Smeared around with color and pattern like graffiti on the wall
Oblique….codified
Theres no formula nor equation that can solve the problems we are facing
All I need from you is to rescue me
Im drowning deeper and deeper into the drench of confusion
Im being swayed to and fro like the waves in the sea
The rocking chair will not put me to sleep
The uncertainty of the love we share comes crashing through the cracks of these walls around me.
Safeguarding the unknown with meaningless inclinations.
What are we really fighting for?
We are restless like the shore
Seeking peace and comfort in crowded spaces
Failed on the first attempt but Im not giving up
The battlefield is taking all my strength.
Exposing my vulnerability to the master of the truth.
Tired of searching for treasures that are not rightfully mine.
Im grateful for every little thing I have in my life.
I have freed myself from the prison of possessiveness.
Greed is a senseless conviction of ungratefulness
Takes away the real essence of happiness.
Consumed by insecurities.
Do not ask me to go back where it all began
Recollecting those memories we once shared
Leaving behind bitter sweet feelings of our lonely hearts.
Only the truth can save us
It start with I….and it shall end with US only if you are ready.

I struggled a lot to finish writing this poem. There’s lot going on in my life. I wish I could express the exact feelings but the fear of opening up those old wounds makes me anxious. I guess this a price you pay if you are a broken writer who seek comfort in chaotic spaces.

Yours truly
The Whisperer

An Omen

I have left my doors open.
Cold wind sneaking in like a mice.
Carrying the gift of peace and distraction.
I have forgotten your warm embrace
Your charming smile.
You are just a faceless beast
Consumed with an appetite of my blood.
He carved his claws on my flesh
Awakening the deep sited desire of my fantasies.
Captivated by his luring spell
Fabricated underneath the sheet of deception.
Your pleasant scent that lingers through the room
Slowly fades away when you go back to live your other life.
Don’t beg me to conceal all the scars you have left on my skin.
There are sacred portrayals of our moments
An omen of what is meant to be….
In this particular love and war union.
I chose to love you with all your imperfections.
Behind closed doors…pleasure escalates to the peak
We indulge inĀ  cardiovascular activities.
Body sweating…heated bodies.
Commanding us to submit to the language of motion
Enslaved with deep darkest longings.
We danced to our own music
Sadly our wildest dream carries the burden of the past
Disguising the present with lies
Denying that the dark shadow of our bitter sweet secrets will haunt us in the future.

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Farewell my wild one

Somewhere between the past and the present.
Rests memories of broken promises, deceit and disappointments.
Deep darkest secrets and events that occured behind closed doors.
Laughter which echoes with melancholy rumbles.
Watchful eyes looking for hidden agendas.
Waiting for the prophecy  of back stabbing to unfold.
Most definitely we are animals.
We are confronted with insecurities of our making.
The discomfort to witness the stimuli keeps the beast on the leash.
Truth be told.
The mutual interest built with nothing but hostility.
Suffocating the rationality of breaking all the ties.
Crashing down the intended deal.
Leaving behind a sweet taste of vengeance.
Karma arrived early.
I should probably thank you for being the wild one.
However you were nothing but a dream.

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I am wide awake….your time has ended.
You only exist through the darkness
Thus you cannot be recognised explicitly
You will remain obscure like a graffiti painting on the wall.

P.S. Thank you.

Why dont you get it

I am a wild animal,
I dont conform to pure humanistic sanity.
Im manifested with a great killer instinct.
I will lured you to my space.
Curse your existence behind my smiling face.
Wait patiently for you to give in.
Allow the forces of attraction to take over.
Then feed my inner monster with your flesh.
I find great pleasure from your misconception about me.
I am a broken soul, I dont want you to amend my broken pieces.
Let them scatter around
The disconnections of my persona makes the game more exciting.
If you gave yourself time to reveal the underlying truth  beneath the surface
You wouldn’t fell too deep into the trap of my deceptions.
Never assume that you understand what you see.
My true reflection doesn’t require only your eye sight.
All you human senses needs to work simultaneously.
You need to dig a little deeper,don’t become a passenger in my cruise.
Become part of the experience, explore other horizons.
Do not just accept the menu catered to you.
Ask the chef to prepare your favourite cuisine.
I am a corrupted soul, I dont understand the formalities of being normally accepted.
I speak a dead language understood by a minority.
I am an invisible shadow, a mask which performs only at night.
I dont need any audience, the loneliness whispers the song of staying alert.
You were too quick to assume that you understood my multi-layered personality
My ambivalent nature, there’s no psychological intervention which can diagnose me.
I am shameless to admit that I am a poisonous wicked soul.
My unsettling words silently put a bullet through your brain.
A hyperdemic needle which subliminally get through your veins
Injecting a non deadly venom which keeps you sedated.
Making you to dance on my tune.
Unaware because you are too absorb in your ego.
Its a pity that keeps begging for more.
And I keep captivating you with a toxic affair.

#poetically_inspired_by_you
#insanity

Writers block

The burning desire to write forever torment your soul.
Dragged you through the ground until you admit that you are infected.
Infected with a disease which torture your silence.
Commanding thy self to stain all the blank pages with ink.
You are tired to think….tired to write
slowly rehabilitating thy self with destructions.
Refusing to the listen to the request made by the master.
Pushing afar the burning desire which forever makes you dillussional.
Leaving your soul in great hunger.
Writing is your contentment,
Dont forget the hand that feeds you.
Repressed memories banging violently unto the door of your thoughts.
Forcing you to remember the forgotten memories,
Reawakening all your human senses.
Allowing you to revive the actual ecstasy of writing,
the adrenaline rush which ooze through your blood veins.
Leading you to all sort of places.
Perfection was a taboo….seeing the imagery was very fulfilling.
You have lost the joy of peacefulness
Your thoughts are in constant turmoil.
Tell those murmuring voices inside your head to quieten down.
Making demands in order to be heard.
Keeping you restless and leaving you confused.
Taking charge, pushing, resisting until you surrender.

I AM EXPERIENCING WRITERS BLOCK….. #sad #confused #thoughts_warfare #darkest_place

Chains of infatuation

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This gift of words
Carries the burden of uncertainty.
Blind-folds our eye sight with the veil of deep darkest longings
Forever haunting us until we are fully captivated,
By the sound of a beating drum from a distance,
Reawakening the dead feelings we have surpressed within our unconscious.
Beating violently,
Beckoning us to enter into the bed of roses.
The beating drum, encoding a message understood by our bodies.
Stirring memories of lost potential lover.
Pulling us closer and closer until the numbness surface.
Hearts reaching out
Charging with euphoric chemicals that burns with longing feelings.
Tormented by an unbearable hunger of lust.
Our emotions are imprisoned.
The discomfort of ignoring the nature’s call put us in pain.
Let us depart before its too late.
Lets do this walk of shame.
The rumbling thunder inside our bodies will subside with time.
Lets be wise…..and take our different paths.
Lets free ourselves from these chains of infatuation
The greed is undeserving of our precious time.
It is selfish
It is an exploiter
It will only lead us to infidelity.

Quote of the day No.1

How can I write your name in the sky when you broke my wing?

Im dragged down by your gravity of deceptions and hate.

You like it when Im on the ground.

Though you have taken some part of me.

You didn’t take away my heart.

broken_heart1