We are never ever getting back together

I remember the bitter sweet taste of your lips when we kissed.
The lie you told when you said I was the only one

The forced laugh you uttered when I confronted you.

Your charming eyes drew me closer to the whirlpool of your narcissistic nature.

A confusing love portion which made me to see the saint in you. 

Drowned deeply into the darkest parts of your troubled soul. 

Normalized all your shortcoming because I was so forgiving and understanding.

Making promises that didnt materialize.

Truth be told…I am a sucker for cold hearted lover.

I was convinced that you came into my life with a bundle of hope and happiness.

I failed to notice the devil in you.

I am dealing with the injustice of your theatrical show you pulled when I was at my lowest.

Please dont come back with your excuses that you are now I changed man.

You admit your shortcomings and you are willing to do things right.

There is nothing to amend,

Thank you for bringing out the worst in me.

Thank you for changing me

Now I know the devil doesnt have horns and a tail.

The real devil is right here standing next to me.

Breathing the air that I breathe.

This game of emotions we play

Save yourself from this mindless adventure
The chills and thrills only last for awhile
We remain blinded by superficial love
Lust that lead us into disastrous action
Leaving us wounded with regrets
Nothing taste so bitter like the lies we tell ourselves.
Sharing nothing but empty promises
Cold kisses and strokes leaving our bodies numb
We chose to walk through the path that led us to the tombs
Failed to understand, ignored the signs, living in ruins.
We lost the time to discover the sacredness of our company
Chose to engage in continual destructive activities
Foolishly falling into the trap of senseless gratification.
Fed our wild egocentric nature with circumstantial infatuation.
Tell him nothing but the truth
He was just another victim of your cruel games of emotion
Bitter black woman on a mission

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04/06/2016

Denied feelings
Mind thinking
Intense longing
Confusion consuming
Hope descending 
Distance loving
Secretly wishing

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His intimidating
Eyes looking
Pride ruling
Ego overflowing
Patiently waiting
Someday we’ll start talking
Hope that we will be listening

2016/04/08

The heart has no boundaries
It seek its own pleasure in ruins
Despise being shunned.
Bow down before deep darkest longings.
Uncertain about its own jurisdiction.
It is always kinetic,lacks the awareness of peacefulness.
Enjoy playing dangerous games.
Pounds vigorously when you hear his name.
Blind folds you with an exaggerated need for passion.
Provoke you further if you dont take its plea seriously
Carelessly representing you as a psychopath.
Pulling you closer to madness
Dragging your name through the mud.
Feeding the wolves with your flesh (dignity).
Reaching, reaching deeper to get the sense of gravity.
Manipulate the mind and body to satisfy its own delusions.
Remains ungoverned until it exposes your weakness
Found solace from wandering in the wilderness
Easily tempted, living with the curse of loneliness.
Driving your thoughts too far away
Depict you as a lunatic.
It doesnt understand the language of waiting
When it want, it want it now
Immediate gratification.

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01/03/2016

Just stay there
You are a memory to be forgotten.
A forlorn depiction hanging on a wall.
stood still with so much life
Dead through the eyes of the ignorant
Burning vigorously with an invisible passion.
Hiding the lonesome celebration of our hearts.
Supressing any stimulus which might led us to remember.
All the pleasant moments we shared.
Dont you dare say another word?
The sound of your voice carries a dark spell.
It is a destruction
It is my weakness
Will you trade your everyday occupation for being a mute actor?
Let my eyes do the admiring
Let my hands do the inspection
You are such a beautiful artistic being I would like to study
Fascinating indeed.
Let me first speak to your creator.
Then I will learn how to deal with you.

The irony of our love

We are singing the same song but with different tunes.
You are right here with me but your mind seems so far away.
How do we move forward when the picture stands still
Incarcerated by words left unsaid
Hidden behind the veil of our superficial love
Are you prepared to break all the walls?
Open up the casket of my wrong deeds
Damn…you!!! You are not perfect nor a saint
The irony of our relation haunts me
Smeared around with color and pattern like graffiti on the wall
Oblique….codified
Theres no formula nor equation that can solve the problems we are facing
All I need from you is to rescue me
Im drowning deeper and deeper into the drench of confusion
Im being swayed to and fro like the waves in the sea
The rocking chair will not put me to sleep
The uncertainty of the love we share comes crashing through the cracks of these walls around me.
Safeguarding the unknown with meaningless inclinations.
What are we really fighting for?
We are restless like the shore
Seeking peace and comfort in crowded spaces
Failed on the first attempt but Im not giving up
The battlefield is taking all my strength.
Exposing my vulnerability to the master of the truth.
Tired of searching for treasures that are not rightfully mine.
Im grateful for every little thing I have in my life.
I have freed myself from the prison of possessiveness.
Greed is a senseless conviction of ungratefulness
Takes away the real essence of happiness.
Consumed by insecurities.
Do not ask me to go back where it all began
Recollecting those memories we once shared
Leaving behind bitter sweet feelings of our lonely hearts.
Only the truth can save us
It start with I….and it shall end with US only if you are ready.

I struggled a lot to finish writing this poem. There’s lot going on in my life. I wish I could express the exact feelings but the fear of opening up those old wounds makes me anxious. I guess this a price you pay if you are a broken writer who seek comfort in chaotic spaces.

Yours truly
The Whisperer

An Omen

I have left my doors open.
Cold wind sneaking in like a mice.
Carrying the gift of peace and distraction.
I have forgotten your warm embrace
Your charming smile.
You are just a faceless beast
Consumed with an appetite of my blood.
He carved his claws on my flesh
Awakening the deep sited desire of my fantasies.
Captivated by his luring spell
Fabricated underneath the sheet of deception.
Your pleasant scent that lingers through the room
Slowly fades away when you go back to live your other life.
Don’t beg me to conceal all the scars you have left on my skin.
There are sacred portrayals of our moments
An omen of what is meant to be….
In this particular love and war union.
I chose to love you with all your imperfections.
Behind closed doors…pleasure escalates to the peak
We indulge in  cardiovascular activities.
Body sweating…heated bodies.
Commanding us to submit to the language of motion
Enslaved with deep darkest longings.
We danced to our own music
Sadly our wildest dream carries the burden of the past
Disguising the present with lies
Denying that the dark shadow of our bitter sweet secrets will haunt us in the future.

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Ghosts

Some ghosts are not easily laid to rest.

They decide to exhume without warning,

exposing their existence uninvited.

Especially when you begin to enjoy your peace.

Although you have buried them deeply underneath the rocks of concrete.

They refuse to stay there.

Then they come banging at your door

Expecting a warm welcome.

Even though you chose to leave the door locked

They find a way to come back

sneaking, peeling off the layers of the concrete

They are like terrorist with a mission to destroy.

Carrying an atomic bomb filled with hostility.

They know nothing but war.

Obedience is marked by death

Serving a higher purpose

Who is their Master?

they thirst for blood, pain and despair.

Your downfall gives them great pleasure.

Do not fell threatened

You are not entirely alone.

You are protected by the most powerful, most loving and most caring being.

The past always haunts us especially if there are feelings which you haven’t dealt with during that time. Letting go is not easy hence it takes time. Therefore, everyday I give myself time to reflect back and try to find a way to forgive myself for the things I could have done differently thus embracing the lessons which comes with it. This is a journey. Forgive yourself and be thankful you are given a second chance which is the present moment.

P.S You are beautiful and strong.

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Why dont you get it

I am a wild animal,
I dont conform to pure humanistic sanity.
Im manifested with a great killer instinct.
I will lured you to my space.
Curse your existence behind my smiling face.
Wait patiently for you to give in.
Allow the forces of attraction to take over.
Then feed my inner monster with your flesh.
I find great pleasure from your misconception about me.
I am a broken soul, I dont want you to amend my broken pieces.
Let them scatter around
The disconnections of my persona makes the game more exciting.
If you gave yourself time to reveal the underlying truth  beneath the surface
You wouldn’t fell too deep into the trap of my deceptions.
Never assume that you understand what you see.
My true reflection doesn’t require only your eye sight.
All you human senses needs to work simultaneously.
You need to dig a little deeper,don’t become a passenger in my cruise.
Become part of the experience, explore other horizons.
Do not just accept the menu catered to you.
Ask the chef to prepare your favourite cuisine.
I am a corrupted soul, I dont understand the formalities of being normally accepted.
I speak a dead language understood by a minority.
I am an invisible shadow, a mask which performs only at night.
I dont need any audience, the loneliness whispers the song of staying alert.
You were too quick to assume that you understood my multi-layered personality
My ambivalent nature, there’s no psychological intervention which can diagnose me.
I am shameless to admit that I am a poisonous wicked soul.
My unsettling words silently put a bullet through your brain.
A hyperdemic needle which subliminally get through your veins
Injecting a non deadly venom which keeps you sedated.
Making you to dance on my tune.
Unaware because you are too absorb in your ego.
Its a pity that keeps begging for more.
And I keep captivating you with a toxic affair.

#poetically_inspired_by_you
#insanity

To my secret admirer1♡♡♡

Utter no word,
Pull me closer,
Look deeply into my eyes.
Allow me to taste the sweetest taboo on your lips.
Invade your thoughts with dirty talk.
Pulling you closer, touching, exploring all your body edges.
Exploring the adventure hidden beneath your clothes.
Bite you on your neck like a vampire.
Leaving behind a scar as a reminder of our shared moments.
Tell no one…..you are a secret Im willing to keep forever.

#poetically_inspired_by_you
#secret_admirer
#special_somebody