This love continue to burn us,
leave us with scars that becomes only visible when we are away from other people.
We won’t stop until the grave summon us back to the truth.
The truth is…
I have loved you to forget my own demons and to forget the name that taught me to conceal my pain with dead things.
Stand accused within the strangeness of my own skin,
Inflicted with troubling thought that sought to kill the sedate feeling locked inside,
Addicted to a pill that takes away my patience,
Standing in the pathway, waiting to attack the beast with sweet love pretence,
The pill sedate my soul with hostility
I stand accused in the middle of nowhere…
Locked within the iron cage with the pain I cannot bear,
Rest easy upon the realness of my scars hidden, trapped inside my heart.
He assume that I am fine with everything
His presence makes me cold and bitter,
He is playing a dangerous game with the devil
Though he is a God fearing man
Hope that his prayers protect his soul because he failed to honour his part of the deal,
The strangeness of my own being soothe the guilt trip which burden my serenity with heartache,
Voices that echoes within the night intend to keep me restless,
He carry on with his mission…attacking when I am vulnerable
Torturing my innocence with hostility.
Hatred is his closet friend
He is brutalised with pretence
Do you realised the damage you have done
You have sucked my free spirited soul so dry
Left me in the dark,
Battered with empty words
Felt useless and distance from reality.
His abiding indifference will help him find peace in his grave of infidelities
He claims he knows what I really need
Then again he is just a reckless player in a chess game
He allows his opponent to learn his next move,
He is foolish…its absurd to think that he can ne moral
Let his shortcomings flourish and comfort him through his unknown journey.
I stand accused of the crime I didn’t commit
Gave a defence which is entrenched with the truthfulness of his dealings
Yet the fear of challenging him scares me
Someone will get hurt when I start unpacking his luggage of secrecy
His true nature will remain unknown because I chose to die with his secrets
Let him get judged by his own God…not me
Thank you for making me feel so alive,
remembering the agonizing thoughts of yesterday,
teaching me to embrace all the shortcomings that comes with life,
Everything I thought I knew about you it had faded away like a repressed thought,
You had become an unattended event of the past,
Shared a rehearsed conversation to hide our true feelings,
our superficial fronts follows us like haunted ghost
wrapped with unbearable desires
yet we shut ourselves out of the lustful cocoons
memories we have created are not forgetful dreams
Only if I can hear the liberating melody of my beating heart,
I will understand the message from that one last kiss you gave me
interwoven with good farewells,
promising all the best for the lonely journey we chose to embark…
A kiss which imprint my soul with forbidden pleasures,
slowly evoking the wickedness that lies behind those eyes of yours,
Sinful pleasures that promise to quench my thirst for love,
searching for the truth inside your lies,
tension caving in, building a wall between us.
making us known strangers
exiled by our egos,
Seeking new ways to heal the pain
Your silence overflows with profound revelations.
Now I truly understand why you were part of my past not my future,
you were an obstacle which deprived me to reach my full potential.
BUT NOW I HAVE LET YOU GO
I am more than happy
I am free….
Haunts me through my sleep,
with thoughts that will forever remind me of the journey I once travelled,
Leaving behind traces of scars on my soft skin,
Feeling unhappy to look at my reflection on the mirror,
consuming my soul with grieve of losing a great part of me.
I have become a wanderer in my own place of birth,
Lost track with the familiarities that surround me,
Trying to rmember myself
My past experience, my ordinary life,my own memories which are entrenched with healing thoughts
I have lost it, lost it all…
Lost my former pleasures of writing,reading,long walks,quietness and wild eyes
Always pushing me to explore what lies beyond
Ignorance became my best friend,
Betrayed the courtesy of speaking the truth,
dealing with the cruelty of empty words which burns me inside,
Taking away my pride
consuming my thoughts within the ocean of lies
surrounded by dead seaweeds.
Tormented by the restless waves which pushes me afar
Blame thee for the loneliness I feel,
The coldness of the shore will forever remind me to be thankful of the sunrise
Lasting for a shortwhile
Given a chance to experience yet another day
I will survive the sadness which tortures me through the night.
Caught up within tainted images,
Reminding me about the pain of yesterday
Slowly taken back by the heartache which is ravished by smiles
Putting up a front to hide my real emotions.
Silently singing a sad song
Where did it go wrong?
Suddenly the darkness is my friend, the light is my enemy
I have made peace with the shadows that haunt me in my sleep
Found pleasure from horrific nightmares
but then again this is just a passing phase.
Our minds are clustered with tormenting thoughts
Memories entrenched in our DNA
Haunting us until we lose our inner peace
Can the mind perpetuate the stillness of the universe?
Listen to the music which generate no taste, no colorant genre, no tune
Do you walk away from the pain of disappointments or carry on like nothing matters
Really the urge of embracing the high level of inner peace is the justice we owe it to ourselves.
Let the dying of each season become a part of us
Beginning of new chapters
Though it brings unbearable pain of laughter
We ought to break free from our own cocoons of ignorance
Pulling us away from reaching the highest level of self
Letting the energies buried inside our souls to give new meanings of our existence,
Never underestimate the innermost tranquility of time.
Remember nothing last forever,
We are all puppets bred with genetics of individuality
Your uniqueness doesn’t make you different from the rest.
You are just given an opportunity to learn and embrace your full potential
Let some part of you to die…keeping the entire bunch is not worth it
There’s a reason why they are not part of you.
Dying is the rebirth of the better.